Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet

Hey Bart, Thanks for being an excellent example of corporate good neighborness.  So here is the story: My host and I got into it over him being the nosiest landlord in history. An RA from hell when it's basically a hotel room. I left home to get away from my mother invading my space a while ago. What I said to him will strip the paint off the walls but really he deserved it. The iceberg underneath the water is significant. And even though he stole my computer and peripherals it's not relevant, when it comes to my refund, says common law. Although if I can claim a damage for that through AirBNB please tell me how. The facts: I enjoyed four days of a ~3 week stay. He cancelled it. Someone that's not me has my money. Why your policy allows blanket immunity for eviction after the host and/or AirBNB has debited from the tenant I don't know but we can table that discussion. Also not relevant. If you are still a Quaker don't feel obligated to restore my account. That would...

John this is an EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE from your friend from Charlottesville. GUNS. are great. Thank you for protecting our 2nd most important right. The right to free speech, etc. was put first because it's unusual to get into a duel (when you'd need a gun) if you aren't allowed to tell someone you're going to kill them. Will you defend a free speech case if it's gun related? Just wondering. You oughta get more business if you want it from this email which is also an OpEd in my newspaper. EVERYONE CAN OWN A THOMPSON. That's my version of gun control. You agree? --Wolf Alexander, Independent! NOW and forever. Virginia's 5th Congressional District, 2026. Although I am a Whitworth carrying kinda boy myself. -Alex P.S. @SpitfireHunter on TikTok & YouTube P.P.S. 304 871 4759 P.P.P.S theSpitfireHunter@gmail.com P.P.P.P.S. 710 Orangedale Avenue, Charlottesville, Virginia (till Sept. 1) P.P.P.P.P.S. I invite all assassins to TRY to kill ME. With a saber I can...

And The Steel Wheels. Yeah I know that's their old name  "TRENT! Hey it's Alex! From WVa QUALITY MACHINE XMAS PARTY~2007. Charlottesville Virginia. About six months. You in? A really big shew. VIPs everywhere. "THE COMEDY SOIREE." A headline comedian calibur Louis CK/Trevor Noah. You'all would be the house band for the weekend if that's cool. At The White Lotus. It's a hell of a nice venue for a coffee shop size show. Only 150 tickets.  All funding arranged. Deposit at your desire. Lemme know. Hurriedly please. 304-871-4759.

This email is fantastic. The writing. The news also good. GET. ANGRIER. ABOUT THE LACK OF COVERAGE! Make these assholes who invest SPREAD THE FUCKING WORD LIKE THEY CARE! -ALEX

So, T-red. Duel. It was a duel. A which boy is better contest between me and Moron who thought I would allow myself to be out-boy'd by any boy, no less in front of a ROOM FULL of hot girls. Chris Alan of The Southern Theater's Monday Night Open-Mic Comedy w/Moron was Moron. I! Your hero, Congressman Wolf Alexander, Alex to his favorite red-headed bunny, went outside. After the best part of this part of this part... He said he was going to call the police. As I was sitting in the booth telling him "nuts" like General Anthony McAuliffe. But him being a wuss I believed him when he said he would call the police. Ended up the opposite. So I stood up, after staring him down before he hustled for the phone, and called him a pussy very loudly.  "Pussy!" Right at his back like an arrow from Katniss. The word pussy was a poor choice of words. Pussy is a good thing. Chris is not a good thing. A "chicken" or a "hoopleheaded cocksucker" would have wo...

Well now... sounds like you like racing. Okay. The story. So I went to do standup comedy at The Southern Theater. I had already seen an improv-standup show two weeks ago. Met Chris who'll you'll hear more about and the supersexyMILF working the bar. As you are too, fyi. So I went back to their open-mic last night. Was 14th. As the warm up done by Chris and his toady was wrapping up, a couple came in. It was crowded. I had the best table in the house. And was sitting at it like Denzel did in American Gangster.  It was a triple person table. I had no date (yet but the idea was a girl could slide on in to talk to me easily.) Plus the view. Of the door for girls and threats. And the stage. The couple couldn't find seats so Chris asked me if I would move to the comics area because, and I quote: "this booth is for patrons." Well I grudgingly scooted towards the booth exit while arguing with him about it a tad. Then the girl of the couple, as she sat down with her boyfri...

Dear WVIR, Spoke to Erin on the phone just now.  She said someone there would be interested in talking to me about my run for Congress. Yes it's not until 2026, but I am already newsworthy.  :0) Would appreciate any and all coverage. Or interest. Cheers! --Wolf Alexander -Alex

SAMs CAN'T STOP THIS IT'S AN EMAIL TRIDENT AN SLBM FROM AN SSBN HIGH KEVIN. HIGH, SMART APPROACHES TO MARIJUANA. In case you are missing it, I am high. Thanks! Thanks for being so, BAD at doing what you claim to be doing. AS AN OPPONENT YOU WERE REALLY SAD, Kevin. You have lost. Have you noticed? Ohio, Kevin. Ohio, conservative rock of the midwest, starts selling weed Tuesday. HA THE FUCK HAH JACKASS. https://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/recreational-marijuana-sales-approved-to-begin-tuesday-for-at-least-one-cincy-dispensary GENERAL PUBLIC: Check out this lobbying firm:  https://learnaboutsam.org/about/ See all those professional assholes? They have known this "war" on weed was lost ten years ago. They continue to suck on the corporate teat as their "job," for no earthly good. Their careers are A WASTE OF TIME. Kevin, I bought MUSHROOMS. Magic fuckin' mushrooms, the other day in downtown Charlottesville, from a legit store, with my debit card. You have L...

Hey reporters, journalists, photographers, and any and all of you. I am running for Congress for UVA's District. I just moved to town specifically for that purpose. I dropped off a half dozen or so cards through your door. Think "see Rick Harrison in three years." (the ones who keep them can trade them for cash after I am famous.) Will answer any and all questions. Cheers!, --Wolf Alexander -Alex Independent for Congress VA-5 2026. SpitfireHunter.com @SpitfireHunter on TikTok @aWolfAlexander on X 304-871-4659 on cell.

TO TAKE JOHN FETTERMAN. "To pick him for dodgeball." FOR VICE PRESIDENT. Republicans will almost like him. Seriously, reporters at the Post. Someone call! her campaign or write an article about it just like Zoe Barnes. "Every kitten grows up to be a cat..." "You." Get it done, please!  Why?  Because with him she cannot, possibly, lose. He can out-insult Trump and I'd take him in a real rumble against JD Vance.  The other Demboys are weaker. They will not appeal to independents like John will. John Fetterman could go to a Trump rally and get converts. Tell me another Democrat that could do that. Can't. Won't. Impossible for Kamala to lose with Senator Fetterman on the ticket. He is way too blue collar for Republicans on the fence not to like him.  Hell, he ought to be an indepedent! But he supported Joe to the last so he is a reliable party boy. An ethic I hate but beating Trump is at the top of my list at the moment. Also at the top is newly an...

Hey Laura, Read your article in The Post about VA's 5th District Congressional race: https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2024/08/01/good-mcguire-trump-virginia-congress/ Guess what? Mr. McGuire, is going to have a nice wedding (winning the general) but it's going to be a short honeymoon (one term only). Wolf Alexander. Wolf Alexander. Remember that name. As the months pass the outcome you imagine as I say I am running against John as an Independent in 2026 will be less and less likely. As in, not only will I beat him against your odds but it's going to be like whacking a paddle ball (see image for clarification). If it seems like this is a joke, it kind of is. Except it's going to be a joke on the Establishment. Both parties' heads will metaphorically role. You'll see. Just saying you should keep an eye on me. Cheers! -Alex --Wolf Alexander, Independent for Congress VA-5, 2026! SpitfireHunter.com @SpitfireHunter on TikTok @aWolfAlexander on X

Dear Ludwig, Thank you for unofficially agreeing to be my friend. "Ally" if you prefer. Your son did not do that. Oliver "gave me the high hat." He was dismissive. Therefore in your political war with him I am at your service. I am sending this to your ex-wife for her entertainment. Hey Beatrix! We haven't met yet but I thought your book at Anne Marie's was really cool and you seem like an "It Girl." Your son's fiancee caught my attention and I hers and she told Oliver to help me. His response was the opposite. She is very sweet and tell her I am sorry she didn't meet me 5 minutes before she met him. Can you, Beatrix, help me? Send me the girl you think is the most like you that can climb a tree. HELLO CHARLOTTESVILLE! I am Wolf Alexander (Beatrix and Ludwig this is going in my newspaper at SpitfireHunter.com) Don't mind the lousy website. That's a lesser priority than finding the best spot in town to attract feminine attention at a...