Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet

Can't tell if this was a mistake or a trap but, I won the geography bee in 6th grade. Florida is the sunshine state. Up Yours D-Girl. I like how you take my advice but not my seed. Sarcasm. I hope you get entombed in the concrete of your walk of fame impressions. All talent backhoe i am going to get the hottest pussy in north America and it won't be yours! #@

Heaven to Me: Unlimited Girl #@

Cervix Pressure Washing LLC call 646-489-4183 #@

The Secret to Sex Love and Rock and Roll

The disgusting truth: your dad has a dick. His voice making you cheer up got you all charged up, in yer brain's privates, and then you ran into a "fresh guy" and that was enough. Capisce? #@

It's not self esteem. It's self full steam. Anything less is too slow. @#

After This I'm Done Writing to You Until You Type My Name

Proving children right forever: desert, usually has something milky or heavy fat'y and that! Has the most calories per gram which is what's wisest to eat. You stupid fucking parents and experts. #@

Danger Dumbass: this is a fact not a punishment: any girl who rejects me is going to suffer: not because I do anything: but because I'm beyond awesome: and they wasted their chance: what else to call their lesser future than suffering? #@

The definition of a p!g: he's doing you a favor not being a cocksucker. The definition of a rebel. "If you think your authority makes you more powerful, say the wrong thing". #@

Okay D-Girl

Michigan native Rachel Tokar was found famous today, on the street outside where she was staying. Friends say she had been talking about becoming famous for some time. Family reports that she was in love with someone previously but they broke up, and that may have contributed to her cause of life. #@

Get tamed by me. You'll enjoy it. I've been tamed by you since last year and I've enjoyed it. ®+

There was nothing wrong with Mary Todd Lincoln except she was married to an asshole. #@

How many doctors do you know who have done experiments on themselves? If not, all they've done is copy the ideas of someone else out of a book. Who didn't live forever. #@

A headcold (and headache) is a swollen brain. And can be cured immediately (albeit temporarily sometimes), by chilling your skull under a coldest shower. Your swollen brain forces fluid out of every system. I just felt cured. Now my head is heating back up and I'm feeling sicker as my lightbulb pushes against its walls. #@

An unrecognized celebrity has no power. #@

We trained ourselves a little to get sick so we got a snow day. Bad habit. #@

I threw a Bible in the trash at my last hotel. #@

My ex-girlfriend is trying to be Claire the character and Julie Bowen her actress from Modern Family. #@

Anyone Who Buys a Tovala Should Be Shot

I'm Antisemitic

I Could Do So Much Damage If I Was a Parent

How Parents Fuck Up Their Children

"Lesbians" Don't Get It

Fools Rush Out

I'm The New Man. #@

Pepto Bismol: "Are you sick to your stomach? Drink this disgusting looking and tasting mystery substance!" ®+

It's Sunday and I'm Sick