Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet

BIG BET: If you want me to stop writing to you (and eventually thinking about you) post "no" on a story picture. Just "no" on any photo of yourself and i give you my word I'll quit trying for you. If you don't post "no" but intend never to give me a chance, you're admitting to usery and meanness. I also promise not to use that reply against you in court. This expires Monday when i go into the woods around here (got a cabin on the Potomac). ®+

Somebody needs to invent the instant-you're-pregnancy test. The second my never say quit sperm drives itself into your egg a "he shoots he scores!" notification comes on. ®+

I love who i think you are. ®+

Do you have a date tomorrow? Do you mind if i say i hope it ends badly for him? Rachel it is with extreme, self control, that i don't scream in rage at being denied your company. I'm going to split the universe in half if i have to. ®+

I can't accept any plea deal that comes with mental horror appointments attached. ®+

Not in the wild, personal politics, is where you do artistic, violence upon thine critics. ®+

"Say Nothing" the Hulu show looks really good. ®+

Bestie: "Love your enemy". - What a crock of religious garbage. Torture your enemy to their suicide. ®+

It's Friday the 13th. Do you know where your stalker is? (Harper's Ferry. Also not a stalker but who's counting). :0) ®+

Why i didn't like the reel: i don't like boys making fun of you even as a joke. They're cocksucking liars. I want to put my fist through that bald yank€e. You're original and don't want them and they don't like that. So they call you crazy to make themselves feel less lame. ®+

That's a cav@lier. He breaks character in your skit and thinks it's funny. He'll do that after sex. Won't want to stay inside and cuddle you. Unsure about forever starts the second after orgasm. "i got all i wanted time to go!" [pulls out] ®+

PPS: I love "i love fonts" and then "times new Roman" with a bad grin. And the way you devoured that burger. 'eat your enemies' after you kill = embarrass them! And fuck that cav@lier. Really. He's all yours. Along with hell-on-paper. No I'm not mad. Jealous. PPPS i don't understand the mom ending at all. That font unironically was really cool. ®+

I don't like your latest sketch. Although the location was fresh. Some new elements. Hot photo. Did you really pee in a diner? Lol. I love you. PS I liked it more the second time. The way you said "I'm an actor" was bomb. ®+

"The Oscar goes to: Kim Dickens". She's the strongest female character actress in Hollywood. ®T

Song from me for your "she's a really big show!" very fun trip: Elliot Smith "Angeles" ®T

Proof There is No God

Since there is no "moral authority = god", success is what you can get away with, and enjoy! Enjoy beating the gals. And using the other guys. ®T

I Want You to Get Placebo Horny. ®T

You said "tell The People" like the coolest President ever. ®T

In our hockey game on the big screen right now, i am the puck. Your friends and family the other team. Your characters are your teammates. The net is your pussy. Aim rock and fire! RT

Football. The game we could play right now and always and I'm not sure who would win. You could get away from me while i don't think i can be tackled by you. And if we want to make out that would be even better. RT

I'm crazy about you. Do you believe me? Who is your dream forever boyfriend? If it's not me he sucks. Rachel. We could be fucking and loving and loving and fucking right now! If only you'd be a prankster. RT

Planes Trains and Automobiles

I can't be with another girl now Lightning i used all the good nicknames on you. RT

I'm Sorry That's the Lamest Mascot I've Ever Heard Of

An All Girls Catholic School Woman

I just figured out a fullproof way to get cute straight girls to flirt with me. Dress like a superf@g. She thought i was gay the pickup girl. Complimented my jacket opening the conversation, which she would not have done if she knew i was a pussy hunting horn dog. But happily learned and blushed when i sprung the "trap" and flirted. I didn't do anything but enjoy her attraction. RT

Fashion Congresswoman: you're not using all your skills. You're a good photographer. You are a great on the ground organizer. And you are a prankster. RT

The Grossest Thing I Can Say but if You Love Me is Sweet

The swell of your breasts drive me crazy. RT

What you've said to yourself in anguish: "You (he) would deny me love because I'm upset!?" = What other boys get wrong. They aren't perfect, you hoped they would be, and he got angry. Anger is hate hate is not love. I will never do that to you. RT

The secret of the Shirley Temple

I'm a Man You Can Actually Fix

This is The Perfect Place for Us to Live

Figuring out what you're going to do before moving is the hardest thing for those of up with a megaton of energy. RT

Money opens the gatekeeper's gates. Spend it well on bodacious advertising. They'll have to notice you. Start a "feeding frenzy" when they all smell profit on you. "how much money can she make me" says everyone in Hollywood. You are smart. Not a liability with men out there. You are gorgeous. You "Marilyn in the Mirror Monroe" are a starlet fresh off the bus. Let yourself be taken non physical advantage of a tad. Then claw the fame out of them till they're dry of effort. Then do it to another asshole. RT

Stop Listening to My Advice About Your Career

If You Have Trouble with a Slapshot

What Makes Donald Chump Donald Trump?

Cheerleader You've Got a Grudge

Why did you take "I'm perfect" down? Just because you took it down doesn't mean it's not true. I'm sweepy, still. I wish you were here. Middle of the night sex is the best. So is middle of the night pillow talk. RT

Tenacious train traveler

Rachel I'm thinking a little downhearted

If someone assassinated me, would you regret taking your time? I would. RT

I don't know what you have planned but open mics where you don't sleep are prime places to be super bold. Pull your goalie and try twice. RT

Whatcha doin' in LA? Sounds very exciting. Make sure you carry that i own this fucking town attitude with you. Discovery "in line" is a possibility because you are smoking hot by LA standards. Every bit the California spyder. RT

The world used to think lonely. Now i know you exist, and you're in it with me. Except "with me" is artistic. I want it sports-wise. Let me out of your penalty box and into your perfect box. RT

That's two "Mafia Mademoiselle" videos that really were above comedy. They were political. Declarations of Independence! People admire those who are greater if they aren't jealous. Fuggedabout it. RT

On train to DC. You even said "I'm perfect" the first time with a new york accent. That little extra "fuck you" in your voice as you sliced off the end of the word. Why won't you love me? I made you see who you are. Dat's gotta be worth a non legal date. Phone call? Come on you owe me. :0) RT

That's the first video i know was not, for me. Because i said that a while back. Now that you won the Stanley cup what are you going to do next? ("I'm going to Disney Land!") RT

Yes you are! Perfect in every way except here. RT

Girl do you look happy. RT

My other favorite store is the suit corner market street Philly. Getting new duds today. My first date with Ragehell suit. RT

I promise i will learn how to skate well enough so we can ice dance. And so i can lose to you gracefully and trying at one on one. You can flatten me but i won't flatten you. RT

Entertain people where they're not expecting it and they won't look away. Have nametag. RT

Becoming famous with social media is crowded with competition. Becoming famous the old fashioned way (door to door busking) is wide open empty. RT

Success is prestige. Prestige in sports are records. Prestige in Art are opinions. Opinions are Political. Politics is team popularity. Teams are not for individualists. You are a singular person. You're too strong to need prestige. "fuck them". RT

There is no woman more extraordinary than you. RT

Art is not a sport. It's not based on a physically provable argument. "I'm the best goal scorer in Georgia" is provable. "i am the best comediane" is not. Art is an opinion based competition. Sports are a fact based competition. Except the art program score in figure skating. Which isn't a sport. You love knowing you're the best. You are the best. But that's an opinion. In granite. RT

Justin Bieber is not a great artist. He is a good salesman. He was good looking. Sang songs. Girls who wanted to fuck him enjoyed watching. His songs, suck. Hot and crooning isn't smart. What was smart was him knowing he was hot and doing something in a new way. Same stuff. Singing. New way. Youtube. What's your new way? What's your invention or first adapting? You must be seen in a different way to stand out. Quality does not stand out. You stand out and say "this is good." RT

No matter what you share where, please remember: fame begets appreciation. Quality does not. Van gogh. Master or loser? He was a loser while he was alive. Same paintings. Now they're mahsterpieces. Then they were in a closet unsold. Making yourself cared about is unrelated to what you say when you are. Thousands of big stars are goddessdamn dumb. The still of your in sparkle sorceress could be on playboy. Just because ten million people aren't telling you that, doesn't change the photo. RT

It's funny and sad how men still say you're confusing. Woman. They don't let you talk. Then they don't listen. Then they don't care. I am watching Bridgette Jones's diary. Which when a cav@lier thought dumb. But it's by and about a woman's struggles with love and life. Information gold mine. RT

I remember being with the girl i used to love the most in a hotel. And taking pictures of her half naked i thought "yuck". She was a mercy love. You are a dream love. And i am your dream love Rachel. I know the "guy you've always wanted". What i wasn't upon first discovery of you i have worked on based on your declarations. I'm now G.I. Genius James "Feminist" Bond. RT

My definite purpose is coming up with new and greater things to say to you. I wake and tokar. When i build up enough creative energy i send you one of these telegrams. RT

? You are still in love with the best time(s) with your ex. Not him but that time with him. And you think you, fucked it up. Those thinkings can be refelt. He wasn't the one. You know it. But you were happy. We will have the same loving fun. Better. And more. RT

Ragehell's motto: "forever fourteen!" RT

"Avril on ice" - the girl i thought she was in 'complicated', you are. The bad chick cool girl fun on wheels genius graceful cheerleader I've always wanted. Please end my misery and see me. RT

EAM I'm sorry i let this slip past: you are more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe. Incredible in that side by side. You are made for people magazine. Opinions are fact when you agree. RT

That cute little laugh at the end of sparkling sorceress gets me disturbed every time. Hockey hottie. Omfgoddess. I am not guilty because of that. You are illegally hot. Therefore I'm absolved. Crazy sexy Rachel. If you wanted to be the most beautiful woman you did it. RT

The forces of nature, say: i want to impregnate a woman as many times as possible. Yours says you want to be pregnant as many times as possible. we have to harness those forces for ourselves but against the species. "We use the lust because it's just". But we don't share it. RT

Never ponder the question "how am i going to die?" not something you want to figure out. Or ever know. Therefore it won't occur. If you plan for something bad it comes true really easily. Good is against the forces of nature. RT

That's one of your all time hottest videos. Sparkle Sorcerer. Thank you. I could make love with that girl for hours. Call me! pucker. RT

This two stories a day deal just ain't good enough. I need more of you than that. I need to see you smoking in the shower. RT

If you haven't seen "Witch" (201?) and need a reminder about how gay the catholic part of school was... you are the baddest, catholic school girl. Ever. Ever. RT

Suggestion for your first nickname for me: "A. Guy Whogetsme" RT

We can redo every bad moment you've ever had. I pledge you freedom from regret. RT

You are a perfection artist: you share only your best. You design with precision everything you make. You're a genius. RT