Oh Jonny Boy! My Pipe My Pipe

Jon Stewart doesn't know what a pain in the perineum is yet.

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Wolf Alexander <congressmanalexander@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Feb 25, 2025 at 7:51 AM
Subject: Oh Jonny Boy! My Pipe My Pipe
To: <reservations@thedailyshow.com>, <internship@thedailyshow.com>, <veteranprogram@thedailyshow.com>, <jenflanz@thedailyshow.com>, <info@thedailyshow.com>, <help@thedailyshow.com>, <Mets@thedailyshow.com>, <tilzer@roar.la>, Michael Kosta <michael@michaelkosta.com>, <dbo@dixontalent.com>, <ramin.hedayati@gmail.com>, <jmelkmann@thedailyshow.com>, <tickets@thedailyshow.com>, <jon@thedailyshow.com>

Is calling...

For you to smoke weed with me. You do still smoke right?

DID YOU HEAR I STOPPED BY YESTERDAY?

Did your upscale thugs tell you I was out front all afternoon? Your line of showgoers was just aching to be entertained and I considered it.

As it was I was ensuring they and your low rent muscle knew I was comedian, not a danger.

But I am a danger! To the father fuckin' Democrats (and Republicans).

Jon. You did IT again! Stop doing IT!

STOP TRYING TO FIX THE DEMOCRATS! You keep talking to them like 1) they care and 2) they could stop sucking.

They're dead Jon. They died in November. No amount of common sense and rizzy complaining will fix them.

Congressman Dan Goldman, my opponent, is always going to suck.

I have a better idea:

ME.

I will be back every father fuckin' Monday until you see me. Discuss with me how you will help me defeat both parties and rid our country of the bullshit clogging the system.

The corruption starts at the DNC and RNC and the whole idea of parties.

No parties. Only fiestas.

THIS WEEK WAS A TEST. I WILL BRING THE CRAZY IN GRADUALLY LARGER AND LARGER DOSES EVERY MONDAY UNTIL YOU FATHER FUCKIN' COME OUT OF YOUR BUNKER AND GET HIGH WITH ME. IN THE PARK NEXT DOOR.

-ALEX

--Wolf Alexander

---CONGRESSMAN ALEXANDER

----Alexander the Greater

-----THE SULTAN OF SWEET TEA

*****

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