To Edward R. Stewart


Dear Jon, 2 1/2

I have the determination to whallop MAGA.

"Yes people get terribly afraid when someone viciously takes their side..."

The irony is you, and your staff, and every progressive in New York is terribly afraid of me because I am viciously taking your side. 



Review of Last Night:

Bravo!

That was the best tv journalism since The Insider. You explained so much history in such a concise and entertaining way! If you hadn't retired, you might have stopped Trump in 2016.

Just sayin'.

Are you or your staff using my ideas? Great! I'm not mad but I mentioned Churchill in my email to Volodymyr yesterday morning and so did you yesterday evening...

Did you wonder where I was? It was too cold, I thought, and my flag isn't perfect. A reprint is coming Friday. Plus a bomb ass new business card to hand out (the back):



Whatcha think?

Next week, I'll be there! Out front, all afternoon. Performing for your audience.

*****

May I make a suggestion? 

You have on, every week, some obscure smart person. Who says stuff that confirms what you already know, and can explain perfectly well. I don't watch your interviews much anymore because you use them as live citations. At least interview some women.

*****

Desi!

I really! wanna watch your "Abroad" but I hate the idea of giving Apple money. Please put it on The Pirate Bay/uTorrent.

*****

Jon, a Crossfire reboot with Elon would be awesome but he doesn't have the balls to go toe to toe with you. He knows you'll gut him.

You can't gut me. Not that you'd want to. I am the left's unmet hero. Give me my chariot of fire!

*****

I am going to watch your episode again. It was that good. The part about western philosophy is like the 90's History Channel on acid.

*****

-Did you really let some corporate loser tell you not to bleed on tv? 

-Whatever sociologist Matthew Desmond thinks IDGAF.

-The inside jokes with the audience never gets old.

-Yeah there's no way Elon will show up. Being cross examined by you is a sure disaster for anyone except Ted Kennedy.

-Elon is right though. You are, a, Democrat. A rebel Democrat, but you are not a public independent.

It's time.

NEXT SHOW: "I would like to inform you, that like Gene Hackman, the Democratic Party died a while ago. In November. That party, and all parties, are part of the problem. That's why I am having independent candidate for Congress Wolf Alexander on next week. He's gonna torch two-party system and I'm with him!"

-The wrestling metaphor worked. Fresh. Yeah, you were really on last night. Top of game.

-Oh! The first time I watched this, I beat you to your own punch line. When you were playing the British PM sucking up to The Chump, I thought "handjob". Two seconds later, you mimed a handjob.

Bullseye! We are on the same page. Me and your whole crew.

-I fuckin' love Zelenskyy. He's got moxie. "Stick it up your ass, Chump." That's what I'll say.

-Which reporter complained about his lack-of-suit? He needs an email missile from me.

-You said "gay" a bunch of times in the middle school way I do. Thanks. Now I know I can get away with it.

-"Strawmen north of Richmond." (like)

*****

---Congressman Wolf Alexander

--Wolf Alexander

-Alex


*****

P.S. I want to talk to you about baseball. The Babe. And bat weights. 

Summary: Babe Ruth used a 42-54 ounce bat and didn't work out. All modern players use bats 10 or more ounces lighter and work out.

The Babe was still better then than they are now. In 1920... well you know. (The greatest season any ballplayer ever had)

My theory: a heavier bat is better if you have the grit to swing it. 

"The determination to whallop."




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