I am So Sorry


If you saw me at The Park hanging out at forever "Spring Fling", you may have seen me get upset and cringe to myself.

I can't hit on every hot girl I see there are too many of you. I am asking, for walk-up attention.

This flaming hottie hates me now because I had the wrong reaction to seeing her face.

I know the very moment you make eye contact with a boy you make super important decisions faster than he does and you can read our thoughts.

A really, 11 or 12 I called you on the scale 1-10 sidled up but you didn't talk to me! I didn't know, for sure, if she was sidling up with sexual interest or merely wanted to hang out by the tree nearby.

I was thinking "you are fantastically hot please come talk to me!"

But she didn't. You didn't if you're reading.

At the moment of eye contact I was unprepared. You thought I didn't like you. I didn't do it right.

Damn I am still beating myself up about it. Now I know you wanted me. I wasn't sure until it was too late. 

Hit me over the head with attention. You won't get rejected. That way I have your consent to flirt.

Totally different from the usual guy. I got tired of getting shot down when I wasn't worthy and now that I am worthy I want the big star treatment. Fan girl.

I feel bad. Really. You read my reaction as "he doesn't think I'm pretty" when I was thinking ~"don't get an ethics violation if she doesn't want you".

Was back on my heels.

That's why I was so upset. I think I hurt your feelings. Reject me all day. I don't wanna do the rejecting. And I didn't.

Sorry.

*****

It's worse than that. You could tell I was thinking about you and you had my complete attention. I was already being protective and loyal. Then you turned and I let you down.

I am so sorry. I wasn't suave enough when you thought I'd be. I am sorry I let you down. I am sorry you walked away upset.

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