Forgive a Final Attempt

To the girl who blocked me on IG.

I know I said I wouldn't say anything else to her but this was cool wasn't it? 

Last one.

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Wolf Alexander <thespitfirehunter@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, May 6, 2025, 20:38
Subject: Forgive a Final Attempt
To: REDACTED <REDACTED>

Dear [Spitfire],

I doubt you'll respond to this.

Now I don't know what to say.

Will you talk to me over email? 

It drives me a teeny bit crazy I can't get a girl to believe how awesome I am.

Well that's not true. I can't get a girl I want to believe how awesome I am to believe how awesome I am.

I fell somewhat in love with you over the last few weeks. There will be another you any time now. It'll go like that 'till I meet the girl who believes me and then we'll be supercalifragilisticexpialidociously happy.

I wish it was you. Honestly not because I am that in love with "you" but you seem nice. Fun and funny and sexy and vibrant. We have a lot in common.

So you've got that going for you.

Caddy Shack?

I'm lonely and trying to entertain myself over here in Queens. 

Should I publish this (while omitting your name) or keep it between us?

If I knew you'd reply I'd keep it between us but since it seems unlikely you will I may hedge my bet and help my cause by letting any other girl read it.

Whatever I gently have to do to meet the love of my life I will do.

But maybe me publishing it would turn you off while me not... I dunno. I think about stuff a lot.

I'm watching girls' softball. Really pisses me off they make you play softball. Softball sucks no offense. You should play baseball on the softball field. They (boys of yesteryear) thought you needed a bigger neon ball to hit. 

That's the kind of Neanderthal thinking I'd love to end forever. I am so in love with the idea of my future girl being a force of nature that it offends me deeply to imagine her or you or any woman insulted by such treatment.

Please give me the teeniest chance to win you over!

I guess if you're reading this you are. But I mean officially. Like a reply.

:0)

I am so impatient. To be in true love. I have never been.

I gotta end this but I'm enjoying writing to you. I'll be sad if you don't reply. But then I'll do something else and find someone else. No pressure just saying. I want love and I want it now..

See ya.

-Alex