Read as a Male Lawyer Caves to My Demands
Mesdemoiselles Spirfire,
Please enjoy my analysis of cowardice and good sense on behalf of yourself and all women.
I will quote each of his lines in bold and my responses will follow:
"We are in receipt of you harassing and menacing communications."
Me: Who's we? Was this a group project? What's your name man doing the writing?
"Please be advised that we are terminating your membership..."
Me: If I wanted to go back I wouldn't have asked for a refund.
"Any further attempt..."
Me: You are trying to scare me and make me look bad at the same time. I have been a gentlemen to the ladies and that's all I have to be.
"The local NYPD precinct..."
Me: Didn't I include two officers from that precinct throughout the discussion? Yes I did. And have any officers said a word to me about this? No they haven't.
"Moreover, we hereby demand you stop..."
Me: Demand away. Where's my money?
"They are both illegal and improper."
Me: They were not illegal and your dad is improper.
"Per the clear policy..."
Me: Print out your poiicy and shove it up your ass.
"Notwithstanding that..."
Me: Ah we get to the part where you give me what I wanted. Next time skip to that.
"You should see credit..."
Me: That was fun. Thanks for losing!
"We expect..."
Me: i expect you will want a Capital Tour after I win.
"Nothing herein..."
Me: That sums you up right there Mr Doesn't-Sign-His-Name.
"Asphalt Green Management"
Me: What an awful title to call a gym. Sounds like something coming out of the sewer.
*****
AND I BEAT THEM. WITH FIREPOWER FROM MY BIG GUNS AGAINST THEIR FORT.
ORDINANCE. TOTAL TONNAGE OF CORRESPONDENCE. WELL AIMED AND FROM A SAFE DISTSANCE
PHONE CALLS ON TOP OF THE EMAILS. I MADE CALLS TO ALL THE BIG MEN OF THE BUSINESS.
THEY GOT WELL WORDED MESSAGES.
I made a lady friend too when she took the message for her boss.
I WILL GET THE BILLIONAIRES' MONEY NEXT.
TOMORROW: AMAZON.
