That Was Awesome!!
So guess who was a hero today?
As I was playing guitar I heard the sound of a panhandler behind me.
It was a boy. I knew girls were sitting there.
And by boy I mean a pants down urine smelling big red bearded one.
So I got rid of him. I got to do my best "Seth Bullock" impersonation (skip to 9:02 for the line). Of an actor playing him on "Deadwood".
I said: "Stop doing that before I drag you out by the beard!"
He left. Express.
Which I'm on. The A to Brooklyn. Typing as I stand.
Girl that was fun! Roaring at him and saving the day. Making those women happy for sure.
First I said "remember me?" and he didn't or he wouldn't have believed what I said next.
"I'll give you a dollar over there" indicating away from the mesdemoiselles.
He got excited believing me.
I did that to him before.
When he met me "over there" I gave him my best "I'm going to kill you as soon as I get the legal chance" look and said the line which was only a few words off from "Seth Bullock's".
"Get out of here. Or I'll drag you out by the ear!"
He was taken by surprise and fear.
I watched him as he headed for the rest of the men who are homeless.
I couldn't argue with that.
HEY! IF YOU WERE WITNESS TO THIS STORY PLEASE TELL A GIRLFRIEND.
P.S.
As a coup de gras I yelled at and got to move a guy begging at the 4th and Waverly subway entrance.
Acting desperate he was sitting at the top of the stairs.
"Can't you do that out of people's way?!" I said on the way down.
As I was about to film and "attack" him from below he left the spot.
TWO "KILLS"
P.P.S. Yesterday around that same neighborhood I heard a dude sitting on the street say "fuck you b*t*h!" and I glared at him from 15 feet away:
"Don't talk to girls that way!"
I can say things with my eyes that are illegal to speak.
That's also a "kill". He won't forget the words or me.
Yellow caped very gallant to you very dangerous to ungallant men me.
They will do better or I will fix them one way or the other every chance I get.
Not my preferred way though.
My preferred way involves doing things I did for the Office of Naval Intelligence as "career services".
Never ask me about those things unless you want me forever.
P.P.P.S. To elucidate on the difference:
Yesterday I met a homeless girl.
I stopped and talked to her for almost an hour. And let her do all the talking. Gave her my card and a wave and smile as I left and told her "Molly, come see me anytime in Washington Square."
