Dear Greta the Greatest!

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---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Wolf Alexander <thespitfirehunter@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Jun 10, 2025 at 9:06 AM
Subject: Dear Great Greta
To: <info@thegretathunbergfoundation.org>

Greata. Has anyone called you that before? I claim it even if so.

I saw you sitting in the plane. Really cute. Sorry I know that word is overused but it was my first thought.

Can I love you forever? You have to say yes otherwise I will find another. I don't want to, because it's hard to imagine another greater, than you.

But maybe you like being a rock star. And don't wanna "hang it up" for a boyfriend. No problem. I'm a rock star too. Unofficially. I started trying recently so I am behind you in the race for... we are not competing. I just love you is all. Sorry. Am I being weird? But if not you then who? Tell a girlfriend. I was in love with Taylor Swift some time ago but she's just a rock star. You are greater than that. You fought the second most dangerous government on earth. Lol and beat them up!

You're sitting on the plane like "I fucking beat those bastards! (in Swedish)"


*****

Then you're sitting in the plane thinking "well I got away with that. Now what?" (in Swedish). "Now what" as in, what can you do next to bother The Men. You are very smart. You know how innocent you seem. But you're not. But you can't be hurt by them because there would be a worldwide riot. Lead by me.

So anyway. I wish you'd love me too.

Love,

--Wolf Alexander

P.S. To "hedge" my bet - in case you don't want to love me, I am publishing this. A greater "Greta" could read it and message me first.

-Alex

P.P.S. If you felt absolutely nothing from reading this, my offer to stop the assholes of earth from bothering you remains. But only as an American Congressman.

---Congressman Alexander (i) NY10 2026

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