Instagram Love Isn't Real
Falling in love with someone I encounter online isn't working. Not from want of trying. Maybe from, trying, too hard.
I am more adventurous online than in person, because online, being bold involves action. Saying something memorable. In person I can be more naturally shy - an introvert because I am seen. I am labeled with my signs and noticable by my radical style.
So if you see me out, I don't have to hit on you. You notice me. You can figure out who I am without me introducing myself. And if you like what you see, you can take the initiative. Which is what I am waiting for.
But I can't do that online. There's too many. Too much. To get your attention I have to take the initiative.
So I watch videos and hope I stumble across true love with my electronics. When I encounter a woman I like I make sure she knows I like her, so she'll investigate me and give a thought to being together.
Yet women I interact with on social media seem to follow the same pattern. First they like my well considered attention. They enjoy that I really take the time to listen snd respond to their videos better than any other commenter.
But then from all that concentrated attention I begin to grow attached. I start to fall in love. That's when the wheels fall off the attempt.
Ladies you like interested comments from an online suitor but only to a point. Because unlike the real world, when a man's words are up to you to filter, by your physical presence, online a boy can say anything to you from any distance.
So every time I have found a girl I really liked on IG, eventually, I overdo it, and get blocked. Usually it's from being protective. Another guy will say something on a post of the apple of my eyes that is rude or mean to her or to me and I let them have it.
If she and I were in a relationship, she would like that. But so far it's been only one of us "in" the relationship - me, because I've fallen in love too soon.
Yet I can't help it. I am genuine. I am super loving in all the wonderful ways that one of you will enjoy ecstatically. But that amount of pure passion too soon isn't what's been wanted.
Which is fine. I am heartbreak proof. I was so crazy about this girl I was watching and commenting to for the last few weeks. Last night after swatting at her haters and mine on a post, I had a feeling she'd block me.
And she did! And I was sad for second. But I was ready. And I'm fine. But I am reminded again that online flirting is unreliable.
There are a few others I am following closely. Will they block me if I turn up the volume on my courting? Perhaps. It's not my goal to get blocked. Quite the opposite. But it's not my goal to flirt with the wrong girl either. Why waste my time and effort on someone that won't like the real me at full blast?
So very gently, very slowly, I give full blast. "And blocked."
Alas. I will probably have to find her my soulmate the old fashioned way. Which is fine.
I should also be conscious of what I am already pretty sure about. When I meet the girl who I will get to love forever, there won't be any doubt. In my mind or hers. We will click. Immediately. And neither of us will spend any time playing games. We'll know.
So as I return to IG to flirt some more with other hopes, I already know what I need to know. That I am a romantic in the age of plastic.
