Girls I Have a Grudge

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No boy has worked harder to get your attention and affection than I have.

I have changed myself from a weak ass loser into the man among men. THEY ALL SUCK COMPARED TO ME. EVERY LAST COCKSUCKING ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You wanna be with a lousy guy? Good. You can complain about him on social media later.

I AM ALEXANDER THE GREATEST. I AM THE GREATEST BROTHER FUCKING BACHELOR IN THE COUNTRY. 

I even stopped saying "mother fucker" as a feminist edit. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!

I refuse to flirt with you. I'm not doing it. YOU! do it. I deserve it. I goddamn deserve it. If you would swoon and fangirl over any male celebrity YOU SHOULD GODDAMN WELL DO IT OVER ME. I CAN KILL THAT CELEBRITY TWICE OVER AND HANG HIM OUT TO DRY.

I figured it out. I piss you off because you decided a man like me didn't exist. You already said "fuck men they're all awful". Then you see me and I blow that idea up. You are master of your minds, and you don't like it being shaken and stirred. SORRY. DEAL WITH IT AND GROW A PAIR OF OVARIES AND TALK TO ME.

*****

AND GIVE ME THE BALL!

Gimme the fucking ball. I'm pitching. And I'll hit them until their team charges just me on the mound and I fight every last one of them. THEN MAKE I'LL MAKE THEM GET BACK IN THE BOX AND STRIKE THEIR ASS OUT.

That's MAGA I'm talking about. FIND ME REPUBLICANS TO SILENCE AND WATCH. 

ALL OF'EM. WILL SHUT UP WHEN I TELL'EM TO.

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