From: Wolf Alexander <allwomensrights@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Jul 26, 2025, 11:13 AM
Subject: CALLIE GARNETT please forward to JEAN
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Cc: <seresin@sas.upenn.edu>
Hey Callie,
I read your sister's piece in the Times and I am hoping you will send this op/ed response to her after you enjoy it?
Also feel free to sign me to a book deal while I am unsigned.
*****
Dear Jean,
I am sorry you are frustrated by the reality you're living in.
If you were childless I would use this essay as a stepping stone to you, but I cannot do that.
However I can answer all of your "what the fuck are they thinking?" questions.
I made notes as I read. Choose your own adventure and scroll down to see them or keep reading for the longer story.
I will reread your essay now before writing my response.
I am probably going to comment as I read.
*****
If you want a man who is crazy about you, you should enjoy when one texts and calls you nonstop.
*
"...to be organized and oriented by his desire, as though it were a point on the dark horizon, strobing."
Wow what a sentence.
*
“I was really looking forward to seeing you again,” he texted me the following week, around lunchtime, “but I’m going through some intense anxiety today and need to lay low :(.”
At that text you can say "do you want me to make you feel better?" and if the answer is anything but a strong "yes!", bail
*
"Aww, poor baby!” cried the historian, and we all cooed and moaned for the poor wittle fraidy-cat boo-boo, working ourselves into a frenzy of laughter over men’s inability to “man up and [expletive] us.”
Have you read this piece?:
"The male mind cannot comprehend the allure of Tony Soprano" by Catherine Shannon
My response to your group would be:
"First to pull me out of here will get that."
*
This half paragraph is a mystery. I wish you'd decipher it for me:
"The therapist mused about the anxiety of needing to “justify the phallus.” “You know,” she said, “from the child’s point of view, it’s like, ‘I get what Mom is for, but what are you for? What’s the point of your thing?’”
(later reading it again)
Oh now I get it. From a womans' perspective.
*
"...but lately I have been bruised by the ambivalence of men, how they can first want me and then become confused about what they want, and this bawdy, diminishing humor soothed me, made me feel more powerful, more in control."
Men want you for sure for sex but don't know the kind of soulmate they also want (if they want one) so they hop from girl to girl. Never figuring it out and leaving you and your girl kin forever upset.
*
“When did the men get so anxious about desire?” asked the therapist, and I said I didn’t know. “Yes, you do,” my friend said. “It was when they were put on notice that they can’t just get drunk and grope us.”
The jump from "I want her" to "you" saying yes officially is a minefield of awkwardness unless you the lady goes there. And it's better if you do that. If you go "there" first.
Very obviously.
It's a green flag to the guy that you won't reject him.
Once I get that I can be totally cool. Before getting that I am yes, mortified by #MeToo and expanded common sense, to assume it's a yes.
*
"One of the reasons my marriage ended was that I fell in love with another man".
I would return that and say you didn't really love your husband (because he wasn't close enough to your soulmate archetype) so you were ethically browsing.
It's not encumbent upon you to be faithful when he isn't enough to make you happy.
I did that and it doesn't work.
*
"My husband and I had an open relationship at the time."
I am sorry Jean but that isn't a relationship. It's a fuck buddy with paperwork benefits.
As you said, you "found it intollerable".
*
"I stood there reaching for him while he sad-faced back at me like a boxed mime: He couldn’t talk about it; he wished things were different; maybe someday the child would mature, the glass would break, but for now, there was really nothing to be done."
I wish you had given me his name so I could ruin his month.
What a cocksucking asshole.
He should have been more considerate of your feelings. That he was ruining with his bullshit.
*
"I keep encountering and hearing about men who “can’t.” Have these men not heard of “don’t want to?”
It's an insecurity that he won't find you attractive years from now so he doesn't want to hurt you later. He is somewbat considerate about that but not smart enough to know the solution.
Not letting you get older. Keeping you young with deliberate concentrations of youthful enthusiams and immense amounts of enjoyably given loving effort.
*
"Maybe they are punishing us for the confusion."
There is no "they" exactly. But there are five types of them.
Boys Men Guys Males & Dudes
Men and Males are punishing you.
Guys don't know wtf they're doing.
Dudes are gay and really, don't know what the fuck they're doing.
And Boys, who are eager and earnest in all the right ways but are unable to defeat Men Males Guys and Dudes in "battle".
Which makes them unattractive to you who want a hero.
*
"Granted, he worked a punishing schedule, but, my friend reasoned, it takes 90 seconds to send a quick reply."
Any person you really want who doesn't reply to you AT THE SECOND THEY SEE IT isn't eager enough for you.
Some men have the right attitude when they're in your presence but forget you're their favorite person the second they see another woman.
LABEL: moron
*
"The humiliating and nightmarish part, she explained to me, was not so much the rejection as being cast against her will as “woman eager for a relationship.”
Yeah
Absolutely.
What you want. And from your reports please correct me if I am wrong, clearly what most women want, is the fairy tale.
And all men either don't want it, because they're retarded, or don't know how to be the knight in the story.
Please for my sake, don't tell other girls not to want that.
I want that.
*
This is a selfish bit of advice but in response to this:
'“I’m really done,” my friend said. “I can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to be hurt and misunderstood constantly. I need to find some other way to live.”'
I would suggest being lightheartedly promiscuous until you run into your kindred spirit.
Men will display themselves as honestly as possible for a one night stand. Use all the information they give you to decide if it should be a two-night.
Etc.
*****
Jean, you will know your perfect mate when you run into him right?
I made a 20 point personality profile of my soulmate. She could honestly say all these statements.
1. I'm Smart-book & street smart.
2. I'm Creative-I love making things.
3. I'm Funny-I will make you laugh!
4. I'm Honest-I would never lie to you.
5. I'm Loyal-like light from the sun.
6. I'm Athletic-I love sports and bring fit.
7. I'm a Sexaholic-but with my one lover only.
8. I'm a Rebel-I hate authority!
9. I'm a Tomboy-just like Idgie in Fried Green Tomatoes.
10, I'm a Wilderness Lover-yes I want to homestead!
11. I'm a Pothead-I can outsmoke you 24/7.
12. I'm Tidy and Organized-I'm always ready for battle.
13. I'm Cigs Free-yuck I hate cigarettes.
14. I'm Cool-I don't tell on people I love.
15. I'm a Minimalist-I own only what I need to survive.
16. I'm Psychedelician-those and alcohol socially are the only drugs I do.
17. I'm a NeverMommer-I don't have and never want kids!
18. I'm a Lone Wolf-I can be pretty happy by myself.
19. I'm super clingy-I love being inseparable.
20. I want us to live happy and healthy forever.
*
As you see we at most match on 19 of the 20. I am sorry. Unless you (THIS IS A JOKE) abort your child I can't fall in love with you.
*
'“I wish I could just be gay with you,” she said, and I said I wished that, too, so much."
From a woman's perspective that's reasonable.
You want your mate to be your best friend.
First and foremost.
It would be nice if a man existed who could handle the job like I could but you must REDACT your offspring first.
(another gonzo-style joke)
*
"Take my straightness, please. Take my attraction to men."
What you really mean is:
"WHERE ARE YOU !?!?!?"
"You" being your soulmate.
You want him but feel hopeless.
I am there often. Longing for Her.
(not Hillary Clinton)
*
"Was that what my friends and I were doing over dinner? Rebelling?"
Rebelling is great. Do that extra.
But all of you at the meeting were hoping one of you came up with a Nobel Prize winning idea for churning out the four men you each are dreaming about.
Dreaming = good.
*
"The problem cannot be me. It must be men, right? Men are what is rotten in the state of straightness."
DING!
Bullseye.
How can it be your fault there's only one of me?
It's not.
*
"Domestic pessimism" = lazy cocksucker who doesn't love you enough to want! to do 51% of everything.
*
"Partner-violence pessimism" = angry that you're better in all ways but he's bigger, and is a poor sport, by using that to hurt you.
*
"Erotic pessimism" = same as the domestic pessimist usually right? Too into himself and his solo-endevours to make himself your love-slave.
*
You enjoying your life should be his all consuming, forever, love's his job, job.
And more important to him, by a universe and a half, than his professional job.
*
"Petulantly proud masculinist subcultures that have arisen."
Hashtag PPMS lol.
Men having their own PMS.
#PPMS
If you laughed please use it.
*
"It's the sweet, good ones. Dammit."
Those are Boys.
They are potentials if you can get them warriored-up.
Doing that without destroying their ego is something you have to figure out. I don't know how. Nor do I care to learn.
My job is to defeat them in battle.
*
"I would like to believe there is something purposeful, resistant, even radical in the heterofatalist mode, but the more I voice it, the more I am inclined to agree with Seresin..."
You are allowed to agree with him but when I read this...
"“Heterosexuality is nobody’s personal problem,” he writes. “It doesn’t make sense to extricate your own straight experience from straightness as an institution.”...
I don't have a goddamn clue what he's talking about.
It's like he's playing Scrabble with full sentences and cheating.
"If I throw enough smart sounding words into a paragraph somebody will give me a Ph.D."
*
"It isn’t that my friend needs to find “some other way to live”; it’s that we all do."
Again. Being selfish here but a sorority girl attitude will fix the problem.
"Fuck who you want, and fuck who you like. That's our life, there's no end in sight." -Nicki Minaj
As a man looking for exactly what you're looking for from the other direction, pretending you were childless, I would tell you to walk up to me and say "you ready to go fuck me until you pass out?"
And do that to every man who is appealing. Narrowing down your quick reference guide until you can spot him from 100 yards away.
That's how I wanna do it. I wanna [expletive] my way to my soulmate.
Hopefully she's the next one. But if not at least it's a fun way to find her. Hooking up with one of you is the greatest adventure ever.
*****
HERE ARE MY "VIRGIN EYES" NOTES (sorry some are hard to read)
