I am "Jewish", from a small Bible Belt town.
There was one other Jewish student in my high school class of ~180. She didn't like me.
There was one student of color in the grade below me. Two in the grade above. I only remember well Kanica! She was on my little league team.
You can imagine what the town was like, culturally. MAGA country in the extreme.
Therefore I had no white privilege. I was the leper even though I sunburn easily.
There was one homosexual boy that I knew of.
(these are mostly boys I am talking about)
There was one "super-weirdo".
One of my former friends became a deputy. A baseball teammate a detective.
One girl had a New York accent.
"Transgender" wasn't a word I ever heard until years and hundreds of miles later.
I tell you all that to tell you this:
All but one of those categories of people had absolutely no power. They were almost non-existent throughout my K-12 days in my hometown of Bridgeport, West Virginia.
I do not mean this badly -- they are everywhere, here in New York City.
Great! More interesting. If there is one category of person I have hung out with quite enough, it's "the mountaineer". Although basically everyone is the same. "We all cherish our future" to riff on JFK at American University.
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This essay is about this fact:
There are seven categories of men, here in spitfire and hurricane heaven, that hold all the political power. Still men. I am surprised in this world womens' paradise, there still hasn't been a woman as mayor.
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In The Big Apple, these male sociological groups together, run things.
And there are seven words that quickly sum up those groups that I would type correctly except Blogger will restrict this post.
Whenever I use these words I am not thinking about women. "All Womens' Rights!" I am an ally and whatever else that's good to all women. Regardless of any and everything.
Now I am going to type those words as I can. Not because I have prejudice against those groups. But because I rebel at being told what to do by "the powers that be". And them's the powers that be.
In alphabetical order:
F@gs
Jeŵs
N!ggers
P!gs
Ret@rds
Tr@nnys
Y@nkees
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I never said any of those words in anger against any of those kinds of people when I was growing up. Because except the p!gs, they weren't in charge. And I was always a hater of those with power. I was a rebel from birth. I hated doing what I was told and I was always being told what to do.
Adults. Was the slur of my childhood. "Fuck all the adults". The punishers.
Men. "Men" is the group that tries, still, to tell me what to do. I call them "cocksuckers".
So if I have any hate, it's for them. Males. Boys. Guys. Dudes. Men. I do hate them. Almost all of them and the few that I am cool with is only because they're helping me.
THAT BEING SAID, and I hope you understand:
Because those seven categories of men are the men that are the social rule-makers around here, I am, growing to hate them. The groups.
I never hated a black man in my life for being black. Dan (the handyman!) worked for my dad when I was little and he was so nice to me. The nicest to me of all the guys who worked for him. He built my backyard "fort" that I designed age ~8 and it was fuckin' awesome.
I am beating around the bush. F@g Jeŵ N!gger P!g Ret@rd Tr@nny and Y@nkee men run, or have run, Washington Square Park for a really long time.
Power is local. Just because there's a MAGA cocksucker running the country -- the Chump -- doesn't mean he's in charge in Washington Square Park. It's as far from MAGA land as a person can get.
Which is why I love it.
It will remain the best place in the city (and the country) to dare to be different and get away with it.
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Yet,
Washington Square Park is not as nice, as it could be.
It's somewhat scummy.
And I know there's a fine line between scummy and rizzy, but I think you agree with me:
"It could be more female friendly".
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Do you agree with me, New York Girl? That YOUR "Park" could use a little... shine?
Moonshine! Coming soon but that's not what I meant.
Those seven categories of men are now my definite enemies. Because they are getting angry that I am taking their Park power away.
I show them up every time I show up. I deliberately disrespect every one I can for the pure fun of it.
My favorite thing to do is "shoot down" single or groups of men walking. I "fly" behind them like I am going to kill them as soon as no one is looking, and after they are unnerved I swoop past within inches like the most arrogant pedestrian ever.
If I see one particularly creepy or disgusting or scaryconspicuous male hanging out somewhere, I set up my "office" right next to him until he leaves.
I do not let the drug dealers own their dealing space. Sometimes they put their scooters or bikes up blocking traffic and I shut that shit down.
And when I see some boy pants half down or no shirt or otherwise trying to coerce money from you I scare him to death.
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The plan is I take their power, and give it to you. You tell me, what to do and I tell them.
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Recently I am hearing whispers of complaint by some boys as I fly past. I am getting bothered by guys while "bushwacking" (playing music). And online, male enemies are getting bolder.
The dudes attacking me are all one of those seven categories. I did not start a war with those categories. They are starting it with me.
All I have been doing, is targeting individual bad actors in The Park. The grossest, creepiest and most dangerous characters. Because they make your Park experience less fun. You don't want to stay as late or sit in certain areas because there's some man there being unsettling. I made it my self-appointed job to get rid of him.
I've done well. So well that the allies of those gross, creepy, dangerous characters are getting angry at me. They're planning a mutiny against my presence. Good. I want to fuck them all up.
A man will make me leave The Park when Global Warming is officially reversed.
Which group of the seven is the one with the most Park power?
N!ggers. The northwest and western acres is a black neighborhood. Which in terms of the women is awesome! Bold are you black girls and I love bold women. A friend of mine whose name I forgot stopped by to say hi the other day. She wanted to try out my fiddle. Her visit made me beam! with happiness.
But the black men are getting angry at me and I am ready for a war!
All seven categories of men listed above I am at war with starting right meow.
In Washington Square Park, the strongest group to their credit are the brothers. They are very well united by race, which is a concept I don't understand.
I was never a proud "white" or a proud Jeŵ. Every time I see one of those black hat clad idiots I "attack". And I wish... I wish, some nazi nationalist cocksucker, would dare to show up at The Park. That would make my campaign.
(If you didn't notice, I didn't mention "foreigners" as a now hated group. I will melt ICE, and go into my change of heart in a new story).
What I want is for all seven categories of those males I do hate to fight each other. To the death. On Staten Island so I don't have to clean up the mess. They can go up against that MAGA stronghold and hopefully, when the dumbass clears, there won't be another cocksucker in the five boroughs.
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One day there won't be any "groups" of people. And I will be with my soulmate.