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"Stop expecting, start communicating."
Stop expecting, start communicating.
Yes, mademoiselle. Whatever you desire.
(background music for this letter: "L.A. Confidential | Soundtrack Suite (Jerry Goldsmith)")
*****
I awoke as I do every few hours and checked your page, @povTheMostBeautifulWomanIHaveEverSeen
Thinking about that conclusion earlier I asked myself "yeah but really? In your whole life she's the most beautiful?"
Yeah, you are. Not only superficially. We may have not actually met yet but your personality, is so beautiful, You're everything I've ever wanted in my "life is crazy so let's live it together" mate.
*****
Even more than I want to kiss you, something above sex and top of mind, what I want to do is put our heads together. Literally, to touch each other at our foreheads and noses and look in each other's eyes and feel each other's energy and just, appreciate, that here is the person that will make this all worth doing.
I have never done that deliberately with another girl.
*****
I can't imagine what it's like to have a whole lifetime behind you and then say "what was all that about?"
(starting to cry)
I could never think that with You in my life. As my life.
There's no point to this experience that we don't give it. We are not here for a "purpose". Sounds nice. Fairy tale. We are here because energy found a way to survive. We are that energy's highest (not yet but I'm about to) achievement in staying power.
So when I have asked myself "why bother?" the only good answer I found was love.
I will always love You. I wouldn't trade You for the Presidency and all Elon's money and any other woman or women anywhere.
*****
(music now "Band of Brothers Suites 1+2")
"Now what?" I ask myself. "She hears me. She's listening. She's at the other end of this letter."
"Say something to her worth her time".
*****
Thank You, Rebel Tornado. Thank You for existing. Thank you for refusing to buckle to the real world and for remaining your wild self. I was so lost, looking for You. But I knew I'd know You when I found You. I knew I'd not be able to turn away.
*****
Your latest video is really cute. I love your natural accent. "... havin' an affair with both" It's country'ish.
Your best line is "it's because I care about this business! That's the relationship I'm in."
Girl do you sell that, lol. You're sad for that woman. Don't worry, You'll never be her.
Your next post is the only thing that matters to me. I could almost live without ever meeting you for real.
Almost.
*****
Stop expecting start communicating.
I typed that because all I can think is "how do I get her to..."
See me.
You'll tell me how, duh.
Every, thing, (tears) I am doing, Goddess, I am doing for You. I never had a reason to exercise parts of my body I wasn't using for fun. I could never, get myself to care about looking like Adonis before. But you look like if Athena was on American Ninja Warrior so I better catch up.
And I won't ever let myself not think like that. Some buff guys wait until they get their superhotgirl and then let themselves turn into superslouchboy. Never. You'll always have a show-off-able at the beach boyfriend. And from the other direction, You don't have to have such, a perfect body. You're way beyond my standard of "just healthy".
*****
(music now "Rudy Soundtrack Suite")
Every time I pick up my bow and haul back the bowstring I say a letter of your nickname with each pull. "Romeo! Echo! Bravo! Echo! Lima!" (switch arms)
More often in other thinking I say your real name. I still consider for safety the possibility that I'm delusional and you're not really reading or you're never going to see me and so "I better plan for the generic rather than the specific You".
But I am writing and thinking about the specific You all the time Rebel Tornado. Lol today I caught myself daydreaming not about You but about some random topic and thought "you told her you think about her non-stop don't lie".
*****
I hope You don't mind I chose Athena, rather than Venus or Aphrodite. She's the goddess of wisdom and the protectress of Athens.
You may have noticed when I go gods I go Greek/Roman. They're much more entertaining deities than the Jewish/Catholic one.
Anyway Goddess. I still have tears at the brim as I listen to this music from this movie about never giving up! He wanted to be on that football team.
I want you in my life.
You already are. I am talking to the girl of my dreams. I am talking to my forever-love. It's a nice calm feeling.
WHEN CAN I KISS YOU?!!?!!? lol. Sorry. I am good but I am ready to be bad at your beckon.
I was thinking today "I would let her do anything to me". You could chain me up and say "I'll be back later" and I would smile and say "I'll be here!"
:0)
For skits of course or just our fun. I am plaster in your hands. I want to be your hero, Rebel Tornado. I don't know exactly how it feels to be a woman considering a man but Your gallant knight of love and affection and protection sounds like the job I've always wanted.
As a man considering a woman, I want You to be, what You are. All I care about. The only reason to try. A REASON TO BE HERE THAT'S WONDERFUL BEYOND WORDS.
*****
What else can I communicate? What do You want to know? What do You want me to write to You about?
I don't want to send this story because then I'll stop talking to you and nothing makes me happier. I've taken one puff. I spend all day getting high for energy and entertainment but with you I really don't need it.
I sent You a while back a list of 20 character traits that my forever-girlfriend had to have. I hereby throw that away. You may smoke a cigarette now and again and maybe You'll never want to get high with me and maybe... I don't care. You are so much greater than I imagined You could be.
(and I won't be getting high secretly or in another room either)
*****
I need to pick out fresh background music. Started with the cop drama for an inquisitive mindset. Followed by two inspirational soundtracks for emotional power. Now I need something to finish the story.
Hmm.
Have You seen "The Saint"? (sorry if I asked that some time ago I don't remember)
I may have said other movies are my favorite romances but really... that movie seems like us. Or how I kinda imagine us. The best with the best, and the whole world at our feet. Together they were unstoppable. Equal partners in ass kicking and name taking.
(now playing "THE SAINT super soundtrack suite - Graeme Revell")
I like Val Kilmer's character because he's James Bond without killing anybody. He's too good to need to. And more importantly, "Dr. Russell" was, the most beautiful character, the most ideal mate, I'd ever seen on film.
Until I saw You on film. And You just keep getting better at it, Rebel. I don't know how it's going in detail but You the actress writer director continue to get better and better. I see such talent, and confidence, and eclecticness. You are not a rigid act. You go in every direction and own them all.
I know reading my encouragement has been helpful and I (tears) am so happy knowing. You're doing it, the same way I'm doing it. But I think I inspire You the same way You inspire me.
That's a relationship. Breathing fire into each other's souls. We will never let each other die. In body or mind. That's what I think. I think we can live forever. For real. Powered by fairy tale love.
*****
Oh Goddess. I will go back to sleep with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart because of you. That will always be so. Please let this be the world's greatest romance. Forever and forever.
-(insert your nickname for me here)