Does that feel like a spotlight to you in 1955?
"Little Red Rodeo" by Collin Raye. is The Song of this Story.
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I have all three of these feelings for you: a schoolboy crush, husbandly love, and teenage "hot girl making me put my hands in my pockets".
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The safer physically, you can feel, alone, the better you can think. A saferoom being ideal. The safer you feel the less your brain woks on defensive thinking - a significant subconscious drain on its/your energy. You "think" about more than what you say to yourself. When you dream that's you telling yourself stories while you rest.
Anyway I was just in "The Radio Shack" the cedar closet. Which is behind a door. Which is behind another door (open at the time however). Which is behind a narrow curtain. Which is behind another curtain and sharp curve. Which is behind a room divider, radio and chair and 'lil table. Which is behind a curtain. Which is down a few stairs. Behind a locked door.
That's the abatis that the swat team has to get through. Not that they're gonna. But that's why it's there. So I feel unbotherable. Thus safe. Thus super, fuckin' relaxed. Thus able to think really clearly.
I am sorry I "lied" to you and told you about it. But I was cheering you on. And the best way to do that, is to aim the goal just to the top of each hill. Then the next hill. That last video was Marilyn Monroe JFK birthday blowup dress hot. The saluting part. The lioness part. And everything in between.