Just to be clear for any fucking annoying do-gooder: i am not gonna do it. I am allowed to talk about it causes it's my fucking neck. And if i wanted to do it it certainly wouldn't be anyone's business but mine.
*****
What the fuck is the point of all this? All this effort? I have been alive 40 years and so far I'd call the experience tolerable at points.
The only reason i don't kill myself is i don't want to die. I physically don't want to harm myself or be harmed.
Yet i can't say this is worth staying around for. I have complete freedom and decent luxury. Great health and a safe certain future.
But this still fucking sucks. I want to be holding the girl of my dreams in my arms and i still, havent succeeded. I have been at this singular effort almost my entire life.