So.
Sup?
I am doing something a girl who wants to be worshipped will think is awesome.
I have been listening to your country club bunny tomboy video on repeat. This has to be the 100th hearing as I type.
In the dark! Total darkness in the "radio shack" (cedar closet) in my apartment.
Sitting on the floor of the closet smoking weed and listening to your voice and thoughts and humor. Like I am an AI programming myself to Your soul. :0)
That's not weird. It's smart. I bet you agree. I want you in my life and vicey versa.
I have had a bunch of good thoughts about your thoughts but I wasn't writing them down. I was letting them swirl, hoping I'd remember for this story.
You look so dorky with those jeans and no belt. Like me in school. Ugh.
Dudette. I earned you. The ability to attract you. Cause when you were a bombshell in high school? I was not, this cavebuffspy guy I am now in high school.
I wish I didn't have to hear your roomfriend's voice once every minute but it's better than the other guys'. He's fully neutered.
I am sorry I was a little angry in one of the stories recently. I watched your skit on my phone, not on this temporary laptop and I missed something. And was angry at you and put it in writing.
I'm sorry.
I am, certainly really excited.
"The first couple of time may be a little awkward".
I was assuming the first couple of time we would destroy some furniture. What's the average of that? lol. Because from my perspective, when the girl is hotter I am more into it. And since you Rebel would be the hottest girl I've ever been with (or could be with), I will not be shy, as soon as you give consent.
So I don't know how it could be awkward. Awkward plus desire = who cares let's go.
I am upset because I am a little flabby and not physically physicall physically perfect like you are yet.
I hate "exercising". I want to get stronger doing something I enjoy. For example I'd love to carry you around everywhere. That would be fun x fun and I'd build my muscles.
Walking around NYC was fun. Flying I mean. Was is fun so I made my legs hella strong and flexible. But other than pulling myselves up stairs by the banisters which I did/do every time, I can't think of a convenient (fun work) way to be more beafcake for you.
With you in the room, I would do 10,000 pushups. If you wanted me to and no matter how long it'd take.
I am trying to solve the problem.
Bigger problem.
Disclaimer.
I have to say what I think you want me to say without making the problem worse. Because those assholes love, when their stupid fucking rules get violated so they get to do something.
To communicate this information I am going to disguise it in several layers of art. You are the smartest women on earth and there's no man smarter than you. And I am not smarter than you. But I am as, smart as you.
So you should have no trouble figuring out what I mean.
*****
In the year 1757, Hawkeye got pinched. Not the baby kind.
By enemy forces. Because of something that his beloved said.
Hawkeye not mad at beloved. Beloved beloved.
But Hawkeye don't want to lose to the cocksuckers. So Hawkeye could be doomed to trouble.
Oh Beloved! Do you not know any of them, that you could suggest maybe you wouldn't enjoy Hawkeye being burned at the stake.
That you would make trouble for them, if they did.
Hawkeye must be gallant and careful when under enemy guns so help from without, beloved, makes them evaporate.
Hawkeye know beloved kinda like the protection of the paperwork but the paperwork very very dangerous if beloved wants to be beloved.
Hawkeye hopes beloved do something before Wednesday next so it will be a big victory for our forces.
Capisce?
I will do my best.
I would do an entire year in Rikers if you would be the one picking me up (forever) but I don't really see how that helps us.
*****
Certainly happy. Me! I love the way you look when you say "stay in the present moment". Your confidence is tremendous. And backed up with a strong cause. You know you're hot. You know you're smart. You know you're funny. You know you're beautiful. You know you're pretty. You know you're strong. You know you're cool. You know you're tough. You know you're fun.
I know all those too. It's really amazing how different you look scene to scene. You really do have so many "characters" or faces or personas or... I love you.
You are hotter than Angelina Jolie in Gone in 60 Seconds.
The look you give when you talk about being pregnant... I know I talked about it already but it's new. It's a whole new look. It was a cooperative look. A wife look. Very...
It scared me. Because I didn't like the subject you were anxious about. Because I am anxious about it. More on that:
I don't want you to take birth control because it's fucking with your system. If you do great, but I think it's generally a bad idea.
So is getting pregant.
Having sex is always a good idea.
Having unprotected sex better.
Having both of us unprotected is the hottest because it's the most dangerous.
Also because it's supposed, to feel the best.
But it feels the worst to hear one of those goddamn terror machines screaming in the other room.
The catch-22 for me the man is, how do we have dangerous sex without you have to hurt yourself getting rid of the thing you aren't sure you'd want to get rid of once it was there. For the experience.
It's hard to solve.
*****
Taking thid one day at a time oh yeah. First couple of times awkward. A few videos back you talked about losing "our" virginities in the basement after playing Mario Kart.
I never had anything like that experience. I had one lousy high school girlfriend.
You were not my high school girlfriend.
Let's redo our first times. Mentally it's possible because I have so cleansed my system of previous passion I feel like a 40 year old virgin. Kinda. I have that "blushing interest" thing back.
I am very strong mentally. And emotionally.
*****
Please don't use your past love experiences tell you ours won't be the dream one you've always wanted. They were wrong. Same with my relationships. The wrong people. We had parts of what we wanted with them which were the good moments with them.
But we didn't have each other. It will be like we are finally meeting and both of us feeling like it's our first time falling in love.
Sent with Proton Mail secure email TheRebelLover@proton.me