EAM E.A.M. EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE Emergency Action Message
It's really fun to type that. I think so important.
*****
I don't have anything emergency to message you yet. I am just setting up the email so that when I do I can go straight to it.
How about some "Julia Child is Suddenly Hotter than Amy what's her Adams" skits. Cooking with Rachel de Gorgeous. Serious or silly or both. That broccoli shopping video is so, cute.
Not like this from MADTV but it's hilarious to see a man get injured.
You dripping sauce all over yourself would be hot to watch. Or tasting anything. Holding sausages. Rubbing seasoning on a duck. Everything, you do is sexy. I'm just trying to think of different kinds of sketches, so you don't tell me to shut up.
Lol
That was so funny. More of those "insulting suitors and shitty friends" responses please. Be really cruel. To them. Slash people with words like you're carving an R into their chest.
*****
I can't wait to see and hear you in real life in court. If you insist. And you'll get to see me, perform! I will make you laugh by insulting the prosecutor and ignoring the judge.
The most I can get is a year. They will pre-pay for it by me defending myself.
*****
I was read a portion of your letter of fear, that you sent to the cops. I hope to read it in full soon, and apologize specifically to everything you said, genuinely.
I scared you, you said. I don't believe you because I think you were pressured by a parent to turn me in. Nonetheless I'm sorry if I scared you. I was trying to not, scare you. I don't think I scare you now because you would have complained lately, instead of basking in my praise and using the inspiration. Which makes me thrilled!
:0)
You feared I was going to sexually assault you. Rape, you. Are you crazy? Lol. Like. No. First of all, I do not get hard, fantasizing about rape. I don't watch rape porn. I don't like porn when the man is mean AT ALL. I hate abuse porn. I hate subservient porn. THAT'S NOT ME. YOU FUCKED UP YOUR ANALYSIS. And I guess I fucked up my presentation. FACT REMAINS. HOT AS YOU ARE NEITHER YOU NOR ANY LESS ATTRACTIVE WOMAN IS WORTH THAT KIND OF CRIMINAL CHARGE FOR SEX and that's not even the point.
I wouldn't rape you if it was just the two of us left alive and no one else on earth was around to stop or punish me.
I want you to fight your clothes, off.
Not me.
*****
Every chance I get at trial I am going to speak directly to you.
When I'm on the stand every answer about you will be spoken at, you. At the volume appropriate like you asked the question from across the room.
THOSE COCKSUCKERS CANNOT PREVENT ME TALKING TO YOU. ONLY YOU CAN. BY NOT READING THIS NEWSPAPER.
I love you. I am not your tormenter. Hurter. Stalker. Or anything but a boy under your spell. All you have to do is ignore me and it will be like I died.
Forevermore.
But I don't think you can!
:0) :0) :0) :0) :0)
If you stop reading these stories, and I get the thinking you don't care about me because I'm not observing any references to the very specific stuff I write, eventually I'll get bored talking to a goddess who's not around.
Meanwhile you love me and read every word I publish.
*****
If I am found guilty I am going to do a Rocky "Adrian!" except "Rachel!" as the bailiffs drag me away. And publish notes to you from jail on here, so you can read how I'm suffering for your attention.
*****
Ready. EAM to follow.
*****
(one "MovieOnTheRadio!" - "Das Boot" - later)
No emergency. Tired of waiting to send.
FULL STOP