Tech Hiring Soft Sell

I know you're making fun of that culture, but it's not landing. There's nothing ridiculous. It's too inside jokey.

It's a catch 420 for me when you're costarring with a boy. I want you to be good and memorable but him not. Which makes for a bland sketch.

How can... no. You will be super and them better without you falling in love with them.

*****

You've been spelled.

I am on a bus. On route 79. going north to beautiful Pittsburgh! The tunnel into town is the best hello to any city ever.

I really fixed my eyesight. I am looking at this flip phone typing in my lap. Without squinting or needing to bring the phone closer. At no time could I do that.

20/20 vision brought to you by unsquinting.

Tear up while not blinking and relaxing your eye(s) while looking at something interesting at least across a room. Hours of that.

*****

Still on the bus, Lightning.

Waiting for your call.

Adam Sandler's "The Peeper" is not me.

But I was typing the first two sentences in that voice.

*****

So the skit just didn't make me laugh. I smiled a few times I'll admit at both of you. But he needs a costume. He needs to crazy it up so you can. I don't think he realizes how unattractive his charmless aw shucks is.

Why am I helping one of your suitors?

Cause you know I'm the real deal. You're figuring out how to give me a chance without blowback.

I don't see a problem in you doing what you want.

And unless I am way, off on my dead reckoning, we will really like each other.

When you're not scared of me hurting you if you reject me in person, then you'll say okay.

I have been rejected in person an awful lot. My, bodycount in that respect, is 0. Zero casualties. Zero rapes zero me too's and some awkward dates.

*****

Not to Pittsburgh yet.

I really don't want to die now, because of you Rebel Tornado.

No pressure. :0)


--