Is that we didn't agree, to be brought here.
I didn't consent to being made.
Imagine, as a fetus, we could be given the full explanation of what we are about to experience.
"Life is shit and then you die".
I wouldn't have signed up.
The amount of hell, I've had to endure, just to create a not horrible life, has been staggering. Happy? Not even close.
And I am doing better, thinking about what I'm doing, than anyone else.
Still, sucks. Still, can't get what I want. Forty one years of sweat jail and tears and I still, haven't found my soulmate.
REALLY FUCKING UPSETTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To add to the bag of garbage is the urge we all have, not to die. We don't want to die no matter how awful this is. Usually. I haven't yet lost hope so I haven't ended things. But that's only from extreme determination.
Otherwise it's just "deal with this" until time mercifully does what we don't have the courage. Really it's courage. To recognize that life is probably going to be an unpleasant waste of time and it's just smarter to skip to the ending.
That's really the rational choice. I wish I could make it. Not killing myself is irrational.
Six years ago I was on the deck with a loaded shotgun. What would I have missed?
Nothing.
*****
Enter stage cocksucker who tells on me for being "a danger to myself".
No I'm a danger to that person.
I'm allowed to kill myself. Think about killing myself. Talk about killing myself. Plan on killing myself. And prepare to kill myself. Absolutely no one else's business. That's fucking fundamental. I OWN MY LIFE, NOT YOU OR JESUS OR DR. FAGGOT.
LightningLover.com