(Nirvana "Stay Away" (please don't))
*****
Rachel,
The girl it could be illegal for me to write to without sending,
If you really, want to be a superstar,
And you can't do it by yourself fast enough to please you,
Hi.
I will tear open, the path to your stardom.
I can get Kevin Smith to retweet whatever you want.
I can make any Hollywood talent agency represent you.
I can net every influencer who records outdoors in New York, to film and feature you.
I can get you into the Met Gala. If we go together that one. Just you go inside the first time.
I can cover you, while you record anybody doing anything and talking about them so they hear you.
You can prank the police and you will be fine.
I can get you into any party that you see happening from the street, or any club or restaurant.
If you want 1,000,000 followers, I can think of stuff you'll like with you (brainstorm), that will go viral, reliably.
I can out comedy act your regular players. Wear costumes and makeup. Do some stunts. Super creative camera work. Music, Rachel. I can score the wonderful out of your videos.
You are running low on new ideas.
I am wired up and ready.
*****
Those are only my ideas to make YOU, the star.
If you want me to be your co-star, I have a whole other chest of treasure.
Radio. You and me. The funniest podcast ever recorded.
You and me, run for Congress.
You and me run for President.
You and me do anything you've ever seen in the movies.
Rachel and Alex go to the stars.
Oh my Goddess Rachel. Please. Holly, wood. I have never been to Los Angeles. Or Las Vegas. I saved them for my soulmate.
I can make you think like the hen of the walk in Beverly Hills. THOSE PEOPLE DO NOT INTIMIDATE ME. I EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST.
Thus wherever we go together you will own. Because I will scare the goddamn hell, out of anyone who argues.
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LightningLover.com