That's really funny. Stephen Lynch bullseye funny.
Well sung and belly laugh making.
You bewitch me anew, Goddess.
The first ~three minutes of this, is how you make me feel.
*****
Going back on the wagon. No more internet stalking you for a while. Should I take this to trial just so we can meet next to the judge?
*****
Wow what a video. Only one I am watching fingers crossed.
However, and this is not your fault...
You will not get to 1,000,000 this year only being funny.
I hope I'm wrong.
Be greater than an actress. Be a revolutionary. Politics. Attack! You, run for Congress, from the 10th. Seriously. YOU WOULD WIN.
I saw how you got that frustration out about that cocksucker getting shot in throat being so important and sad and you're like "fuck that jackass". LOL. That. Except remove the metaphor. Just tell people "fuck that jackass I enjoyed watching him die".
Something like that.
Really dumb, blondes, are famous as political influencers, etc. The wisdom, that will come out of your mouth, sexy smart sultry and sincere. Will knock'em dead.
*****
You gotta do other stuff to power your career to the moon.
The sketches you produce are world class. And most people don't care. Because they don't know about you.
The algorithms aren't pushing you on enough new and different people.
Because there are definitely, one million rednecks, who would follow you like a pack of wild wolves, except they're not seeing you in their feed.
You have to fight your way through the jungle to the gate and blow it the fuck open. Those stickers I made for you would have worked. Sell yourself. Boldly. I would take out a full page color New York Times ad for you if I was allowed. That would work.
SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOURSELF. HIJACK A METAPHORICAL PLANE. Go to the Met Gala whether you are invited or not. Steal all the attention from the red carpet.
One million Neil Strongarm. YOU CAN DO IT RACHEL!
YOU CAN DEMAND ATTENTION FROM ANY MAN ON EARTH AND HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU. USE THAT. IT'S SOCIAL MOMENTUM.
EVERY BOY WANTS TO FUCK YOU, SO MAKE THEM DO YOU ONE FAVOR INSTEAD.
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TOP SECRET RedacTed Eyes Only
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Secede. from. Your parents.
Stop. Caring. What. They say. Or think. About what, you, are doing.
Deliberately. Piss. Them. Off.
Over and over again.
For sport. For revenge.
Send them the message: "Mom. Dad. You don't own me. Fuck you. I own me. You don't own my reputation. Fuck you. I own my reputation."
Send them that message until they beg you to stop.
Then you'll be a rebel for real. Because as great as you are, you are still closeting yourself. You are closeting, your creative energies. Holding them back. For fear of what they will think and say.
To stop them from saying you embarrass them.
FUCK THEIR EMBARRASSMENT MAKE THEM EAT IT.
I changed my rock solid no children ever stance for you. Whatever, you want, to be with me, I will do. Whatever.