The last remaining barrier in your mind to trying me = talking to me, is the damage you fear I could cause to your future if we don't work.
You're on the cusp of greatness. A crazy boyfriend you don't keep could sink your chances of success right as that ship is coming in. Wolf Alexander, already infamous among your social-professional scene, is even riskier.
You will be an outcast - you believe - if you don't end up with me.
That's why it's so easy for me, to take Babe Ruthian swings for you. I'm already an outcast. I have nothing professionally, to lose, by you.
You have a lot to lose, professionally, by me.
You don't want to be an outcast.
That's why I say, in my "It's 1758! and I'm Hawkeye - life is that game - metaphor", that you've been "captured by the French".
You want to be a wild Indian but they won't let you.