Rachel your moral record is clear. Your slate is clean. You are as healthy and young as a high school freshman. Whatever "wrong you've done" happened and you paid. You are at the starting point of anything you want to do that a human could do. You are as physically attractive as a woman can be. You are as smart as any man ever was. It's all yours. All of north america. The only people who might disagree with that are people you already know or who don't know any better. fullstop