FANS subway fans HUGE SUBWAY FANS

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Will be installed the first week I am Speaker in 2029. 

IN EVERY SUBWAY STATION IN NEW YORK THAT'S HOT.

181st on the 1 is really fucking hot. And there's a siren! Going off too. Which adds to the red hot alert status of this hellcave.

No wonder ya'll are angry all the time. To get anywhere is a huge effort if you don't wanna walk.

Even I don't wanna walk 180 blocks to work.

*****

Washington Square Park is where I "work". I am running for Congress. It's a double full time "job".

Job requirements:

Can smoke weed all day.

Can play guitar as enjoyed.

Must never bother women.

Be a hero if practicable.

This is what I do all day.

*****

Right now I am goin' south! 

To 4th. Or Canal I don't know the 1 stops.

Christopher?

Houston.

I just saw the Hudson. Wishing I was on a FAST FERRY that will be docking at a pier five blocks from your nearest river in 2030.

Wouldn't a short walk and a fun fast boat ride be better than a subway?

Where are we...116th. 

This is an elevator ride from hell.

*****

The A train wasn't running at 181st so I got a free hill climb.

*****

I just got yelled at by a woman for maybe hitting her as I scrambled out the door so she could get out. 

I had my phone in my hand and there was a rush of people coming.

I don't know if she was mad at me or all those she had to fight through (while following my block).

I said I was sorry twice in case it was me.

I could have forced my way back in the car but said "fuck it" because I would have crowded the very girls I was trying to make a gallant impression with, and I'm waiting for the next train.

This station is also goddamn hot. And it's not even that hot a day.

*****

Another train at 103rd. Filled to the Tokyo max almost. I am not doing that. 

Another six minutes and I'll try the front of the next train.

FUCK THESE SUBWAYS. I HATE BEING GODDAMN CROWDED.

No one likes it.

I WILL FIX IT.

I PROMISE

*****

It's crowded waiting for the next one. I may have to forgo getting on for the last time.

The 2.5 mile walk outside to A BOAT! will be worth not having to wait and be crowded for 100 blocks.

100 blocks on a boat right now sounds like Naval Intelligence.

But I want to get on the subway, because I am here. And because I am "pot invested" in taking the train.

*****

Am on and I even got a seat! This deserves a whole new story!  

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