Are You a Campaign Manager?

*****This was written for my acquaintance Seth Sturm, but anyone reading it can apply.*****


A campaign, manager. Isn't that the same thing as a general? Or an admiral perhaps? What kind of campaign are we talking about?

I heard about you through someone I know. I heard you've done multiple West Virginia campaigns and won an historic primary.

I need a campaign admiral. The last one I had lost his guts.

He saw it getting real and bailed.

You still have your guts right?

I can pretty much do everything I need to do for myself so I'm looking for an independent operator. Someone who knows the objective. And is fine with me getting most of the glory and all of the power. 

They'll clear the way, in their own way.

In military terms, the navy is going to blockade the coast and privateer while I move south and east with my native guerrilla army of forest assassins. You will be in charge of the navy all off by yourself. You can do that from here at The White Lotus Wilderness Do-It-Yourself Resort in Standardsville, Virginia.

Or you can do it from an apartment or home in Charlottesville, Virginia that we will share without ever seeing each other unless it's scheduled.

Or you can do it from anywhere in the world I guess but who wants to live with their sister and her kids, right? You're a bachelor so you dig.

You see, I want your help but not your interference. Because I can handle myself and everything around me. I know where I'm going and how to get there and what to use to get there with. So I don't need any advice from my admiral off on the seas. I need my admiral to get the English ships and sailors away from our continent. 

I need my admiral to sink or capture the mainstream media. That's the English navy, and it's got to go away or join our side.

I need my campaign manager to start sending out press releases. Contacting journalists. Bothering journalists. Bothering newspapers. Bothering editors, bothering magazines, bothering magazine editors. Getting freelancers to write about me!

Bothering everybody with a pen and a computer with access to the internet journalism world until they raise the white.

That's the position I'm hiring for.

There is no pay. 

However, you do get to have a hell of a good time and get as famous as you want to get and as much credit as you want to get and as many future possibilities as you want to get.

And you will get the best seat to see a really good thing done. Most of the changes you want in the country will happen because of my election and your participation in it.

If all that sounds good, let me know.

-Alexander
 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Middle-Aged Boy" Fantasy Camp

Greetings!

Dear UVA Girl

HOT OFF THE PRESS! new and updated "I May Have a Date With a Cop"

Congressman Seeks Combo Girlfriend/Campaign Manager

Among Other Things Chief

Secret Diplomatic Mission

Oh Columbia Daily Spectator of Girls!

The Best Platform for Political Office Ever