Babe Ruth from 1927 Reviews a Hotel

QUICK REVIEW:

IF YOU LIKE NO SPACE AND ALL KINDS OF RULES, IT'S THE PLACE TO STAY.

(The Babe and His Fantastic Wife, Claire)

Dear Owner(s) of The Nolita Express,

This is a friendly review. It's going in my newspaper, "Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet"

Merry Christmas!. This trip is a present to myself and your hostel - and it's so visually nice I hate to call it a hostel - is exactly what I asked Santa for. I feel like I am basking in my 1927 60 homer season and telling the President I had a better year than he did (although The Bambino said that about luckless and idealess President Hoover three years later)

I have a few... suggestions to go along with my general very positive attitude. Right now I am sitting in your lounge on the 2nd floor at the table with the typewriter. I couldn't design for myself a more chill spot to do some journalism.

If you would like to reply to anything I say I will happily add it, without further comment, into this review.

Shall I start with the good or the bad? I guess I already gave a lot of good, and there's more good things I can and will say. I appreciate you're running a business and I don't know what the books look like and I assume you are not a Billionaire. Therefore my requests are a negotiation not a demand, and you are under no obligation (really) to make less of a profit. Only those with so much money they don't know what to do with it should be unduly generous - and they will be after I win, you can bet on that.

It's also awkward for me to be critical, because I hate when others do that to me, when it comes to my creative projects. I can tell this is your baby. However there are a lot of little-better-than-bad reviews online and I hate to see that.

*****

You could reduce the noise problem by putting a real, and not particularly elaborate ceiling above all of the cabins. Is my room the only one with thick walls? If all the cabins are like that then insulated plywood above would knock down the noise a lot. If the walls are not all thick - no joke - give every guest a set of earplugs with their towel. Gauche is better than unprepared. People appreciate practicality. 

If the other cabins don't have such beefy walls as mine, consider combining a few rooms, so couples can stay together. I notice you're not full over these holidays, and having to separate yourself from your partner at night is not fun. Therefore I bet a ton of couples choose not to stay here.

I know that could add sex! to the noise of the floor but you could add a "no loud! sex" rule. It would be funny. If I was in a couple and we were both staying here, I promise that the "no visitors rule" wouldn't stop us.

I imagine doing laundry for so many cabins is quite a chore. An extra towel doubles the load. To prevent that you charge for a second one. Nickel and diming people is really annoying. I am already paying $100+ a night, so to have to pay five bucks for another towel, and/or blanket is off-putting. How about at least a free washcloth? 

A branded towel, and you have a great brand, I wouldn't mind paying five or ten bucks for. Same with the marginal blanket. But to rent! another towel or a blanket is beyond my patience.

Is there only one boys bathroom on this entire floor? I hope I am missing the other one. Two showers and one toilet for what must be fifty cabins seems crazy, if not a code violation. Do girls stay on this floor? Upstairs is all girls, right? There's a girls bathroom on the 2nd, is why I ask. If girls rarely stay on this floor you oughta make it a second boys restroom, or at least unixex. It know it's 1927 in here but it's also almost 2027 outside.

There's a warning sign about using too much hot water in the shower. Again. Fifty? cabins. I let the shower run for a long time and it didn't run out of piping hot water so maybe your sign is a bluff to cut down on long showers. If so, bravo! If not, get tankless water heaters. There is nothing more upsetting than going to take a hot shower and finding out it ain't hot.

*****

Your staff is super friendly! and helpful.

*****

Is that it? I feel like something else was bothering me... oh, yeah. And this is hard to fix. But I'm 6'2". I can't stretch out in bed. I am going to shift the bedframe to fit diagonally in the room so I can do that. I assume you don't care.

There's that super cool front desk room with the grates over the windows that you're not using for something. You oughta use it for something. At least do it up so it looks like a vintage check-in.

This is minor but please put your email address at the bottom of your homepage. Filling out those contact forms rather than sending a direct message is unpleasant and not very "old school business". 

I like the LACK of technology. The last hostel I stayed at had Roombas everywhere and motion sensing dispensers for everything. You stay to the 1920's motif beautifully. Your check-in is also much better. Your "virtual front desk" downstairs is good enough. And you were quick to reply to my questions via text. Customer service: TOP NOTCH!

Maybe I am missing it but I don't see any "hostel-wide" events. You have these extraordinarily attractive lounges. My last hostel had a "free beer night" which was great. And the one before that had an open-mic night. Just a thought to encourage some social recreation. In that vein, a little ambient music like this would be really cool. As it is I am playing it myself. 

*****

I hope I was constructively critical, not a dick. Like I said, I love this place. 

Cheers, and Merry Christmas!

---Congressman Alexander, 2027

--Wolf Alexander

-Alex

SpitfireHunter.com


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