The Tale of (a?) Spitfire

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Wolf Alexander <thespitfirehunter@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Apr 7, 2025, 8:38 AM
Subject: The Tale of (a?) Spitfire
To: <reservations@thedailyshow.com>, <internship@thedailyshow.com>, <jenflanz@thedailyshow.com>, <info@thedailyshow.com>, <help@thedailyshow.com>, <Mets@thedailyshow.com>, <tilzer@roar.la>, Michael Kosta <michael@michaelkosta.com>, <dbo@dixontalent.com>, <ramin.hedayati@gmail.com>, <jmelkmann@thedailyshow.com>, <tickets@thedailyshow.com>, <desi.lydic@gmail.com>, <contact@ronnychieng.com>, <ticketsupport@ronnychieng.com>, <jeffrey.jacobs@caa.com>, <justin.edbrooke@caa.com>, <justin.gorkowitz@caa.com>, <ka@kamesmgmt.com>, <fh@kamesmgmt.com>, Megan McWaters <mmcwaters@independentartistgroup.com>, <mburgos@independentartistgroup.com>, <help@lewisblack.com>, <gkuhlenschmidt@yahoo.com>, <gkuhlenschmidt@secondcity.com>, <gracekuhlen@gmail.com>, <brett@cgftalent.com>, <cory.wang@authenticm.com>, <alex.burditt@authenticm.com>, <brittanymehmedovic17@gmail.com>

The girl I have been calling that name hasn't come back after two nights away.

Therefore I conclude I'm done waiting.

Daily Show Adventure today!

So this very attractive former three week roomate of mine ain't here. I wrote about her before:

https://thespitfirehunter.blogspot.com/2025/04/sleeping-beautiful-genius.html

https://thespitfirehunter.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-most-difficult-fact.html

https://thespitfirehunter.blogspot.com/2025/03/extra-campaign-general-hired.html

No abortion yet but things were going that way. Joke. We both got to third base. I joke sometimes in faux evil ways.

Anyway she didn't return and I ain't waitin' no more. Jon send down yer hottest single staffers to run the door. I don't want to perform for your retired pigs, etc.

I gotta go to a seamstress 'fore I fly up. The bottom o'me cape needs bolstering. That way yer Yankee ass Jon can read it from upstairs.

Seriously. Desi. See yourself as a comedy madame and suggest to the most outspoken spitfire up there she should text me. I don't talk like 'iss but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night and I got me a new mobile number.

Sex fer sex. Fer eight neighn. Fer wun eight trois.

How's @ sound? World's hottest boldest baddest boy out front tonight unless she shows up 'fer I fly. Roger Victor? Victoria. I have clearance Clarice.

I am THE POSTER BOY for #NotMe. I just spent ALMOST A MONTH with a very hot girl in my bed while at least one of us was naked and she said no 12,000 times. All smiles last time I saw her.

LIke a goddamn angel and maid Marian i treated her. The opposite of a prostitute. I spent $500 and three weeks of campaigning trying to convince her to love me forever.

I guess I failed. Or she's late.

Not that kind of late unfortunately. And I don't want to have kids! Ever. Joke soon. Joke very soon don't get mad Daily Showgirl...

I want to help the pro Choice army by doing my part. If I was a girl I'd have a hickory stick of my abortions I'd send to a Church Lady in Christian Conservativeland. As it is I would love to scare the ever-loving-man out of a MAGA man of your choice and suggestion.

JOKE:

Allow me to help you piss off a pro-lifer by getting you pregnant, so you can abort it on social media!

Please?

END OF JOKE

Merci,

-Alex

--Wolf Alexander

---Congressman Alexander

----Speaker! Alexander 2029

-----Alexander the Greater 2025

------The Marajah of Men (I said men)

P.S. This is not a solicitation for a date.

P.P.S. That may not have been honest.

P.P.P.S. Even I have to end this sometime.

P.P.P.P.S. You may not know whe