My New Life So Far

I, am, furious.

WHERE. IS. THE ATTENTION!?!?!?!

I hate people. They're everywhere and none of them are being helpful. They get the fuck out of my way, somewhat which is nice, but so far, none of them are demanding my attention for reasons I want:

1. Love.

2. Power.

GODDAMNIT NOW!!!!!!!! I WANT TO BE FAMOUS NOW!!!!!!!! I want something fun to do today NOW!!!!!!!!

There are all kinds of fun "by-myself" things I can do like writing this and getting high and training for war. 

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I FUCKING WANT!!!!!!!! I WANT GIRLS!!!!!!!!! FIVE TONS OF THEM IN ABOUT 75 EQUAL PARTS!!!!!!!!!

All of them DEMANDING MY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!

Or at least and ultimately one, epicly great girl demanding my attention every day forever.

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello? I know goddamn made up mother fucking Jesus isn't listening. How 'bout you?

SEND ME A GIRL IF YOU'RE ONE NOT EAGER YOURSELF.

Otherwise, I will destroy the earth.

*****

Here's a "terroristic threat" for the pigs: I get what I want or this planet will be invaded by aliens or destroyed by an asteroid the size of the moon. Either or both because of me.

The moon is easier since I am not certain there are aliens I can get to do the job.

The moon is just sitting there in orbit. All I gotta do is slow it down until the earth's gravity brings it right up your ass.

Imagine the moon, getting bigger and bigger in the starry night until it's the entire width of the horizon and still it gets closer and bigger and bigger and BIGGER. 

THE ATMOSPHERE CRASHES DOWN BLOWING UP AND TEARING UP EVERYTHING AROUND YOU LIKE 10,000 HURRICANES AND TORNADOS.

You can hear the death music in your head as My Asteroid drops onto the entire eastern half of the country, and you can't outrun the sky!

:0)

KABOOM. The biggest kaboom in the history of our solar system.

The entire earth ripped into a gigantic ball of destruction, like JFK's head in Dallas.

THE WORLD KNOCKED OFF IT'S ORBIT, TORN APART AND THE PIECES SENT SPIRALING INTO THE SUN. Anyone somehow left alive getting to burn at 10,000 degrees.

BOY I WOULD ENJOY THAT. The part I'd get to watch and the ending knowledge of what else is to come.