The Campaign So Far
Where is the attention? From you! And your friends, reader?
Where are the interview requests? The appearance requests? Where is the clamor for me?
I am confused. I am very funny. So what's the delay?
People it seems — the other adults of which I am nominally one — aren't getting the joke. Do you?
Do you get the joke?
The joke is I am running for office and conducting my life in general in the most ludicrous way possible. It's like I am constantly on stage as a comedian but you are not prepared to laugh.
I am prepared to laugh.
But entertaining myself, while more enjoyable than not, doesn't get to the root of the matter. You are supposed to find my antics funny!
And I am not supposed to have to teach you how to laugh.
So laugh! already!
*****
I am frustrated by the low number of mademoiselles calling me. This is a no brainer I really am an extraordinarily awesome boy. The most. The girl who leap from the lions head…
… will be beyond belief fact or fiction in rizz heaven.
You will be happy at your "bravery".
What there is to be brave about I don't know. I couldn't be any more chivalrous to girls if I was being paid to do it. All I want is a 50's milkshake date. A sweet fun time.
Although a more adventurous date would be my preference. I am trying to coax you into the idea.
To be fair only a small number of you have been given the opportunity, since I am not famous yet, and since my "kind of girl" is her own gunslinger…
… I can't expect every Simply Hot girl to be that.
Hot and character are separate.
So if you are a Simply Hot girl, ask yourself. Do I feel lucky?
Well do ya, cutie?
That was Dirty Harry:
Gen Z girls you're just gonna have to learn to like late 60's and early 70's movies.
They were bad. Very anti-establishment. Very anti-Chuch Lady.
Very boy centric too which I don't like. Girls get top billing in my life.
Should this go to print or do I have more to say?
Hey. You. Girl reading who considers yourself hot. You can't do better than me. I am as hot as them all. Whatever boys you have been with I am the top dog at the top dog's club. Send some boy up against me and watch him slink away, spirit wrecked.
However long it takes to see hear and read the truth, and dig it, I will wait patiently.
-Alex
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