I Just Did Something
That'a John Henry. Who refused to lose even though he was beaten. And won.
*****
Ah. I'm the Congressman now.
Aboard a train. The 171. Towards CVille for the last time.
There is no way on earth I am going to tell you what happened earlier. By you I mean anyone but one person who I haven't met yet.
Which is so dumb because there's absolutely nothing bad to report.
WE INTERRUPT THIS EDIT FOR A NEWS BULLETIN. THIS IS SEPARATE COMPLETELY FROM THE PREVIOUS STORY. Your regularly scheduled story will resume after this announcement:
I JUST DID EXACTLY WHAT I WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO DO.
There is a flaw in my female observation system. The flaw is...
Girls. Do you tender a guess? I bet if you think about it you'll figure it out. I'll give you a hint:
So that I don't tip my hand, and tell you I like you before I discover if you like me, I don't stare at you. I observe you without making eye contact. Or even fully acknowledging your presence. So I see you but not really. I see "a girl".
Well I saw "a girl". Except he's not a girl.
Do you get it now?
What just happened wasn't fun. I thought a really cute girl sat down next to me specifically to talk to me. When in fact a gay boy or a very friendly boy sat down next to me to talk to me or whatever. And I thought he was a girl and nope.
Five whole minutes I am playing "which of the two of us is shyer" with a boy. Damnit.
At least he is a boy, boy. Not a boy dressed like a girl which is really, going to fuck me up if I run into the wrong kind. A very effeminate trans girl is going to get me all excited until I look in his eyes. I can see from there. At that point I am going to do my best not to REDACT him.
OKAY BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED STORY!
Some of you could read it as bad. Or pretend it's bad for common yet dumb, reasons. And some could agree with me that it was a cool thing and yet it's still better unshared.
By getting off the train and getting high, and then getting back on, after having been on for... 4 fours almost. I have been transported to a... higher...? not exactly. Yes higher in the weed way. But something else. Faster. Ahead of thought. Ahead of others' thoughts. Ahead? Faster within. Like a mental dogfight in the ether of subconsciousness.
No battle already won needs to be rewon to win future battles.
LEVEL B defeated.
BEGIN LEVEL G.
My marijuana based powers are carefully controlled by me. I haven't been this high in a very long time. And yet I didn't smoke more than usual.
It's good to be home? The train's now in D.C. After I win in NY will D.C. be my home or will NYC be my home? Because really you can have only one home. Except that can move daily, if you want it to.
Therefore they'll both be my home. Depends on which end of the line I am on.
SOMEONE NAMED CONGRESSMAN WOLF ALEXANDER TELL THE MOYNAHAN TRAIN STATION PEOPLE TO TURN UP THE VOLUME ON THEIR SPEAKERS SO COCKSUCKERS AND GIRLS AND ME CAN HEAR THE ANNOUNCEMENTS!
The station announcements are fairly loud here in D.C.
I AM STILL RINGING FROM WHAT INSPIRED THIS ARTICLE. BECAUSE IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED, and exactly not what I wanted.
Damnit. I feel bad. I really do. And this is such a dumb world that I can't explain it. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture. Who said that on SNL?
SEX DISCUSSION:
Dana Carvey as George H.W. Bush
SEX DISCUSSION RESUMED:
Girl, something tells me that you didn't start off hating boys and you really tried hard for at least one but they hurt you over and over again.
Am I close?
AD BREAK:
Are you considering caring about politics? For fun? For a day just to do something different? Then you should try me, the Real Slim Shady's real shadier Shady. Except without the bad drugs, abusive family, and agent.
Eminem. In 8th grade I thought Eminem was spelled M&M. Which if he really wanted to fuck with The Man he shoulda gone that way. Insta-lawsuit against him which he coulda run with for years!
THERE'S NOTHING MORE ENJOYABLE THAN HAVING A DEFENSIVE POSITION AND SLAUGHTERING ALL ATTACKERS.
War-wise.
*****
Damn I still can't talk about what happened today. And no boy could figure it out if they worked on it for 100 years.
After 100 years if they figure it out, assuming I haven't told them in two, I'll give you, girl, not them, five bucks.
The good news is that in 100 years, five bucks is going to be worth a lot more. We are gonna have DE FLATION. D. flation. Not IN. De Fation.That means yo' five bucks gonna be worf a hundred dollars worf a gas, Nelly.
That's a few stories from here to explain.
RETURNING TO THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED SUBJECT:
What was that? There were several which one would you like to read about?
If someone doesn't say anything I'll get to choose. Which if it's a boy who responds to my mentally ethered question I'd rather them not.
I'll choose this answer!
How can I explain the subject I want to talk about without talking about it? How can I get out of my system the knowledge of what happened while preserving my... plausible deniability?
I HATE THAT PHRASE. It's a bullshit phrase. It means "yeah I am guilty but you can't nail me on it."
And that definition makes me guilty of nothing. Nothing morally. Nothing legally. Nothing ethically which is the same as morally.
And yet I cannot discuss this topic no matter how I go about it. Not even close. And you may be thinking "I bet I know what he's talking about and you might but you don't and if you did you don't so you don't."
REREAD THAT.
Cheers.
NEXT TOPIC:
And it's hurtful to the person I can't bring into the story that I can't. She, and I'll tell you that much, got her feelings hurt by me earlier today. And because this is 2024 I had to think about it for a second NOT 1757 which I didn't have to think about SOME OF YOU MADE ME HURT HER FEELINGS.
Some of you, who would be stupid and immovably so, is the summary... if this topic came up.
So the Kyles -- and "square boy" is that definition -- are ruining the fun for the rest of us.
Because they, are too lame, to have fun, they try, to stop me from having fun. And fun as in perfectly legal, perfectly harmless to their precious whatever is their problem ways. Ways of fun THEY would like to have but think they will never have. That may be true. Not really my first concern.
This perfectly nice girl whose feelings the Kyles made me hurt... well. She's not my girl so I can only care for so long. And there might be something I could do to cheer her up but I can't. Because that really wouldn't do it.
We didn't talk much. But spent some time together because of the commuter traffic. And I was able to make her feel comfortable being around me. So she liked me being there. And then we had a very brief moment of... connection. Over something artificial. Social politeness done perfectly. So she liked me. And didn't want me to go. But I couldn't stay. I'll explain why in a few paragraphs.
UNRELATED CONFESSION:
I am doing what I am sure every girl hates. I am taking up a cafe car bench. Which I am sure lots of you riding the train by yourself would love to take up but it's always full of boys. Sorry. Sit with me! Then you and I will get the other boys out of the car. Or forget they're here. You choose.
I couldn't stay in my seat. There was a nice family there and I felt like an outsider. Fled to the Cafe. Where I am getting a lot more attention too.
A FEW PARAGRAPHS LATER
I charmed the hell out of this girl I met earlier today. And she really liked me but she triggered a whole bunch of "don't be with that kind of girl again" thoughts. So I felt absolutely awful rejecting her. Still do. And the worst part for her is, her boyfriend or the next one, is not as good as me. Never can be. And she wanted me. She was in love with me. When I walked away... she was so upset.
Because I am afraid of hurting myself, by getting with the wrong girl, I hurt her, by not giving her a chance. And I feel badly about it.
That's the opposite of a Playboy.
*****
That being said.
GIRL I AM GOING FAST.
