This Knowledge Hurts My Soul


There is a celebrity whose name I'm not going to say because I don't want to hurt her feelings.

She was so amazing. And no boy good enough appreciated her. And now she's... not the same.

I'm really upset about it because she's a peer. And she was just gorgeous in every way. Her art is tremendous it's making me cry.

She was so in charge. She had her moment and it was a big moment. And she made something that is very powerful, I have never, I can't even say what it is cause that'll give her away, but it's really good. It's really really good. Generationally good.

She was an heroic artist. The courage it takes to be Taylor Swift is one tenth of the courage she showed being herself.

You know back then I was in love with Taylor Swift? ~2012.

I picked the wrong girl. I thought "who is the best girl in America?" and I said "Taylor Swift", and she wasn't. 

The best girl in America was this girl I'm talking about. The creator of a magnum opus of American life.

I don't think she's rescuable. I tried that. It doesn't work, you can't be with somebody anticipating fixing them.

I'm so upset because I just saw this picture of her from 2010 and "wow. That's a woman" was my instant evaluation. An artist in charge. An engineering artist. Very rare. She had life by the teeth and she knew it. I can see it in her face.

She was intellectually sexy in a way I've never seen in a photo. Knocked me back.

She's the same age as me. If only I would have known her.

She didn't go to my college. If she had I would have met her. I would have heard about her. And I would have interviewed her for my column for the paper. 

She would have been captivating, in a way no other girl I've ever met has been. So I wouldn't have let her forget me. And I wouldn't have let her lose.

Now I see her and she's just not that girl. She's beaten. She's still a prolific artist, but she's not a phoenix. She was a phoenix and I didn't know. I didn't know. 

I will not allow the greatest girl in America to suffer that fate. Whoever you are. I will find you. And I will never let you burn out.


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