I Have a Homeless Problem

Dear Readers,

Forgive my anger at this person. Homelessness the national issue, is caused mainly by the super-rich owning so much land, resources, things and money. 

And while I have compassion and want to help, first and foremost, the poorest and most tired of our huddled masses, the huddled mass of bullshit in my childhood home I am not interested in helping until she gets the fuck out.

Of my bedroom. 

See? It's very personal. When it's academic it's easy to feel sorry for people. But when feeling sorry for them puts them into your space, then it's goddamn annoying. 

There's this homeless girl living in my mom's house. And I am getting her out of that house if it's the first thing I do. She doesn't want to leave. I don't blame her. She has a nice, child-like existence there. Except she's not my mom's child. I am. And I do not want a sister. Therefore she's leaving, expeditiously. 

If you, would like to give her a place to live feel free. Her name is Kim Cockrell. She seems somewhat qualified to be a personal assistant. What she's not qualified for is stopping me from getting rid of her. She has an opportunity to leave and get paid a big check by me in the long-term future but she is rejecting that idea because she thinks... well it doesn't matter what she thinks. It's an unwise decision. If she leaves by Halloween I promise(d) to pay her $200,000 when $200,000 is like a hundred bucks is to me now. Instead she's going to hold out until my mom does what she promised me, already, and asks her to leave before Christmas.

She is Jeff Bezos' problem. Elon Musk's. Taylor Swift's. Oprah's. Not mine. She causes my mom to age prematurely and spend postmaturely and she's going. 

Start a GoFundMe for her, please. Her cell is 304-871-4762. Whatever you can do to help her after she gets the fuck out of my house would be greatly appreciated.

--Congressman Alexander