Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet

E.A.M. to all girls.  "Emergency Action Message". Navy communications. I declare war on every cock having human being on earth. Me vs. them. For you! All of'em ARE COCKSUCKERS as far as I'm concerned and'd be better off expired. Send me a good reason to show them how to swim in the Hudson and East Rivers. Please. I love it. I am addicted to it. Out-"gunning" men. Bullying the boy bullies off the plank. I love it. I swear to take on any, you name them, cocksucker. IN PERSON. AND THEY WILL BUCKLE AND RUN. Come on. Please give me a name somehow. I'll record it. "Mild Example/Easy Enemy"

Are you seeking the best male collaboration partner for you to get to Hollywood? Sex optional. Recording required and that's what you wanna, do! Be the biggest!! star. But you want a guy who gets rubber in all four gears. High. Send me a something.

If you are a girl over 18 who can climb the stairs fast yell up at me like Juliet taking Romeo's lines. Yell up at my windows. Say "Congressman Alex!" or "Hey Spitfire Hunter!" Or "Whatever you want that gets my attention" and I'll invite you up for whatever you wanna do. You know what I wanna do. Or I can come down and we can hang out in any borough.

I can make any strange man move. You tell me where he is and which direction you want him to go and I can do it. Just did. Again. For the 4th time today. Cocksucker across the street was on his phone. I didn't want him in my "city view", so I stared at him till he left. Works every time. You pick him out and I will destroy his confidence and he'll retreat. I promise. Ask me! I will be happy to aid you damsel in distress. No sex required. Desired.

Jeanne de Clisson ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Tue, Apr 29, 2025, 5:42 PM Subject: Dear John VII: "What Happened to VI?" To: < reservations@thedailyshow.com >, < internship@thedailyshow.com >, < jenflanz@thedailyshow.com >, < info@thedailyshow.com >, < help@thedailyshow.com >, < Mets@thedailyshow.com >, < tilzer@roar.la >, Michael Kosta < michael@michaelkosta.com >, < dbo@dixontalent.com >, < ramin.hedayati@gmail.com >, < jmelkmann@thedailyshow.com >, < tickets@thedailyshow.com >, < desi.lydic@gmail.com >, < contact@ronnychieng.com >, < ticketsupport@ronnychieng.com >, < jeffrey.jacobs@caa.com >, < justin.edbrooke@caa.com >, < justin.gorkowitz@caa.com >, < ka@kamesmgmt.com >, < fh@kamesmgmt.com >, Megan McWaters < mmcwaters@independentartistgroup....

Stopping your vehicle illegally and using the emergency lights to cover your ass ain't cool. Related video I made of one'of'em doing it. Fuck off all you want. Turn the goddamn lights and sirens off while you do. Emergencies are emergencies and every time else ain't. I caught a cop a second ago doing it a block away. Pulled over lights on in my eyes. I glared at him from 200 yards away and he pulled away and used the siren! to get through traffic. To push through the intersection like he hadn't been caught loafing. I caught him. Different Cop Two Hours Later Stop working. Pull over. Great I support fucking off at your job who wants a job? I don't support faking an emergency to do it. Those lights and sirens are supposed to mean "get the fuck out of the way so we can save someone's life."

And don't invest today I am allowed to laugh at you later. Bill me if I am wrong. " The Ivy and Eric Show "