Can I Write for You?

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SAMPLE ESSAY FOR APPLICATION TO WRITE FOR YOUR NEWSPAPER, gratis, from "Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet", available at SpitfireHunter.com

Apologies for sending it to your entire organization. 

Hola Socialists! I am Wolf Alexander. Can I help you achieve your general goals without your... well socialism as you know works kinda. 

Too big. The government. New problems from that. 

You want everyone to be basically taken care of and I agree. There's enough wealth overall that it's a reasonable request. 

I am running for Congress in New York's 10th. "The Flyin' Tenth!" Me winning will be advantageous to you.

I WILL GET IT DONE. "Robbing from the super-rich and giving to everyone else." I will do that. I absolutely promise. 

"How?" Good question.

1. I will be the first independent to matter. Then the next time. I am running for 2026. In 2028 I will, with my success -- something like AOC's but more effective -- with my success, in 2028, I will get 434 more independents into the House of Representatives, and ~33 into the Senate. That oughta do the job. If not... well I won't get in trouble if I don't say it.

2. The billionaires will be taxed. "To death." Until there aren't any billionaires. The people who were, billionaires will probably still exist, but they will be super-millionaires. Which will be the limit. $999,999,999. Inflation will also stop. That's a game they play to keep everyone else grasping for wealth.

Their wealth. This is a slavery situation, you know, right? The billionaires have it almost all and they make everyone else work for them for it. Elon Musk thinks that's fun. I don't. He's going to work for me. Rolling a big boulder up a very long hill over and over again until he pays.

I will get that money out of them. Do you hear the tone of my voice? GIVE ME THAT JOB AND I WILL GET THOSE COCKSUCKERS TO "POUR IT DOWN". If they don't I'll send them to Mars before they're ready to leave.

*****

Their money, land resources and things. Things, resources, land, money. 

10,000 acres. The new land limit. The rest goes into the public's trust. You all complain about the money but the land is really more important.

3. What else do you want to know?

4. Pardone. When I send good ideas to people they are too good. You aren't prepared. Get prepared. You want this stuff? Send this to your email list, please. Print it next edition.

5. Which of you in NY10 want to run for office (anything but the US Senate and school board IDGAF) as an independent? I will assist you and you will, win.

6. In other places across America I cannot help you, this time. After I win, who wants to run for Congress and the Senate? 

Right now. Run for something as an independent! THE TWO-PARTY SYSTEM MUST BE DESTROYED and not replaced with two different parties. Or three. Or who gives a good goddamn WHAT'S YOUR NAME? Good that's enough to run for office. You don't need "a team t-shirt". Team games create 1) corruption and 2) one side against the other. Bad. That's bad. No more of that please.

7. I am not forming my own party. This is not a party. You are not under, over, or around me. I am not telling you what to do. Check that. If you're a politician in NY10, I am telling you what to do. How to vote. That's my district. I get to be a very small dictator, for political safety. 

If you haven't watched House of Cards you might consider it for candidate prep. Seasons 1 and 2 only.

Again, I am not forming a party. I am destroying the parties. No. More. Parties. Fiestas yes, political parties no. 

There is a fine line between being an authoritarian and being a good politician. You will vote how I tell you if you are technically under me. So when I am Speaker in 2029 and you are in the House, you will do exactly what I say. If you are in the Senate you will do what I want as well but that's only because you will want to.

Please be aware: My ideas are the good ones. Unless you are a woman then you have many good ideas I would love! to add to my platform!

Female socialists! Send me all ideas. In fact, everything I offered to do above only applies to women. I am not helping any man do anything except expire.

I am so pro-choice I think we should abort the pro-lifers.

The Equal Rights Amendment will be ratified by enough states to make it law as soon as I can. You can help by running for the state legislatures of those states that haven't ratified it yet.

What number am I on? 

You may notice I don't say "we" often. "We" is socialism's favorite word.

Bernie Sanders, who I loved until he choked, twice, said "we" all the time. 

No.. "I", am going to do this. You, are going to do this, I hope. But this is not a we situation unless you ask me out. 

You socialists, excuse my Francais, are way too buddy buddy with each other. I want my space. Not too much space but enough so that it's mine.

You consider your own personal property private. Your cell phone is yours, not ours, right? Apply that to a homestead. Anything up to 10,000 acres. Considering Ted Turner has 2 million, that's a good deal.

The billionaires have too much property. The top ten landowners in the United States own almost the entire state of Maryland in land. Ted Turner himself owns Delaware + Rhode Island.

IN SUMMARY:

I will get, the land, money, resources and things to "pour down".

#PourDownEconomics

The 1% of the 1%. The billionaires. The super-rich. We the people will make them volunteer up every dollar after 1 billion, every acre after 10,000, and all kinds of goodies and good things like water rights, timber rights, mineral rights. Definitely a lot of their things. How many airplanes does one person need? One. How many cars? A few I guess. How many gigantic yachts? One.

You know what an estate sale is? After someone dies all their things get sold to whoever wants it. Something like that, except it will be free. Given away by lottery. "You get a car! And you get a car! And you get a plane!". 

Please know:

I am not going to punish the billionaires for being billionaires as long as they voluntarily stop being one. They get to have a good, fun life too, after they pay their bill.

"We the People" -- I say "we" that way -- ARE GOING TO WIN.

I will get the votes. You give me the votes, to get the votes.

Capisce?

Cheers!

-Wolf Alexander, The! independent for Congress

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