The Battle of Room 207

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Wolf Alexander <congressmanalexander@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 16, 2025, 08:40
Subject: The Battle of Room 207
To: <careers@thefp.com>
Cc: <tips@thefp.com>, <info@lutyensrubinstein.co.uk>

Last 500 words for the week. Did you block me or are you a good sport?

*****

"The Battle of Room 207"

I am at a reasonably cool, very affordable hostel in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 

It's a four bed double bunk bed room.

It's 7am.

There are at least two loud cocksuckers (boys in here). One of them woke me at 5am yelling at the fourth resident to stop snoring. 

I growled that he! and not the snorer (who I never heard and it wasn't me) WAS THE ONE WAKING ME UP!

I am a hostel veteran. I know the etiquette. Don't be loud in the room between ~10pm and 10am. Do your absolute best, to not annoy everyone else at all times.

These two jackasses don't know that or don't care. At 7am they started a having full on conversation and playing videos.

I let that go on for about 5 minutes. I growled and mumbled threats of violence. They still didn't shut the fuck up.

Rather than complaining to them or the hostel like a Kyle, I JACKED UP MY MUSIC TO FULL BLAST. Right now "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket" is covering up their noise.

"'Learned a lot today. Not sure if I'll get laid... On and on. Reckless abandon... This is gonna shock them... I'll use this song to lead me on... I leave a scar size extra large."

Waiting for the enemy to say something confrontational so I can roar at them.

But they haven't "attacked." I am in the top bunk. I am 6'2" of rebel boy and three or four of these cocksuckers combined couldn't get me off this bed or grab my phone.


When the album ends I will be quiet and make like I am going back to sleep, which I'd like since I got in at 3am.

Odds are they will keep running their mouths.

I am doing my best to not hate them because they are foreign. Boys can be cocksuckers regardless of national origin, race, etc. These could be two American boys bothering me while I am trying to sleep. 

I hate them because they are IN MY EARS. 

I am tired. Of the sound. Of male voices. They never shut the fuck up. Especially in groups. Like a pack of dogs barking at passersby. 

Girls. I never realized how annoyingly boys behave. They take over everything. Sound space. Sight space. Physical space. They do not notice that maybe you'd like to enjoy whatever it is they've taken by being physically dominating by default.

The two fled. Blink-182 blew them out of the room.

*****

I have no patience for men. They get bare minimum respect until I get the same. Anything less than that and they learn the hard way.

Some of you women still want a man. Yet they are so. Goddamn. Bad, at being good to you. I wouldn't blame you for saying "fuck that whole gender."

On the train last night the boy of a couple went to the dining car and came back without his girl's ginger ale. She was a little upset. "I'm not at the top of his list..." was her sad thought I'm sure.

So please don't lump me in with men. It's like being a Jew. You can lump me in with the Bielski Otriad:

THEY KICKED ASS. Otherwise being a Jew is an embarrassing label. Even the creation of Israel was half an American victory. Harry Truman and Mickey Marcus.
Out of words!

THE END

-Wolf Alexander, Congressman in 2027 for NY10 or NY12.

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