Congressman Alexander's Broadsheet

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Tue, Aug 19, 2025, 10:22 AM Subject: Hey #MeToo'er To: < us@bluejayrising.org >, < info@shrewsburyforsenate.com > Dear Zach A friend of mine suggested I deal with you. Guess what? You better hope you don't win. I like you as a loser. Because women don't like you at all. I WILL FUCK YOU UP COCKSUCKER. AS AND WHEN I CHOOSE. Non-violently and legally, of course. IN THE RIVER. FACE FIRST TIED TO A TRACTOR. The above pretend threat and below was and will be a joke. Art. Comedy. I WILL MAKE SURE EVERY WOMAN YOU HAVE EVER ABUSED GETS A CRACK AT YOUR SKULL. --Wolf Alexander P.S. Please try me. -Alex P.P.S. Women of New York. This jackass is from my home state. West Virginia is full of MAGA meatheads. Even in the Democratic Party. ---Congressman Alexander . com

And if you point your pistol Don't turn and walk away 'Til the smoke has lifted And there's roses on their grave The killer in me The killer in you The pleasure, the pain The wicked things we do Can't hide the way The dark shines through The killer in me The killer in you Shoot first Always shoot first There's no wrong or right It's justified if it works And if they point their pistol Stare death straight in the face Find out what they're made of And put them in their place The killer in me The killer in you The pleasure, the pain The wicked things we do Can't hide the way The dark shines through The killer in me The killer in you The killer in me The killer in you The blood inside our veins The cold hard truth It can't hide the way The dark shines through The killer in me The killer in you The killer in me The killer in you The killer in me Loves the killer in you

Jon Stewart makes fun of Arby's . So I'll make fun of Huel. ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < yeagermail@gmail.com > Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2025 at 9:47 PM Subject: To the Makers of the Worst Named Product Ever To: < support@huel.com > Cc: < reservations@thedailyshow.com >, < internship@thedailyshow.com >, < jenflanz@thedailyshow.com >, < info@thedailyshow.com >, < help@thedailyshow.com >, < Mets@thedailyshow.com >, < tilzer@roar.la >, Michael Kosta < michael@michaelkosta.com >, < dbo@dixontalent.com >, < ramin.hedayati@gmail.com >, < jmelkmann@thedailyshow.com >, < tickets@thedailyshow.com >, < desi.lydic@gmail.com >, < contact@ronnychieng.com >, < ticketsupport@ronnychieng.com >, < jeffrey.jacobs@caa.com >, < justin.edbrooke@caa.com >, < justin.gorkowitz@caa.com >, < ka@kamesmgmt.com >, < fh@kamesmgmt.com...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < baberuth1920@gmail.com > Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2025 at 8:51 PM Subject: Two Sub Skippers To: < NYC.fight.club23@gmail.com > Cc: < evan@votehutch.nyc > To the four gentlemen not listed: The two that are have been listed joined the campaign this week. Martin and Evan. Martin runs NYC Fight Club. Evan is going to lose to Dan Goldman. Who's going to lose to me. Evan I hope you lose by half a point. There's a recount. You lose by one vote. Mine. Then all your fans and followers and volunteers, so goddamn close to winning, will help me actually do it. I'M GONNA BEAT THE JACKASS BY 20. Martin you've done enough till next year. I appreciate your publicity effort. ***** To the one of you not listed who was in Europe with me - for an extended time. No one but you and Europeans know where exactly I was. Don't forget to forget. To the one of you not listed who lives on Long Island. What gives? Come ...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2025, 7:10 PM Subject: Scott LoBaido You're Being Threatened To: < PatrioticArtist@gmail.com >, < scottlobaidoartgallery@gmail.com > Cc: finance@zohranfornyc.com < finance@zohranfornyc.com >, < press@zohranfornyc.com >, < volunteer@zohranfornyc.com >, < mohamed@zohranfornyc.com > LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The following letter is art. Comedy. A joke. If it sounds serious or dangerous it's not. It's a digital document written in jest. If the recipient Mr. LoBaido feels frightened that's not my intention. ***** Dear Scott, Try that again . Repeat: The next time my friend Zohran comes to your neighborhood, you're going to play the part of the red carpet. He's gonna walk on you, down your street. Otherwise, I, will walk on you, down your street.  You won't like how I do it. ***** I know you won'...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2025, 11:01 AM Subject: My Deadly Admiral To: Seth Sturm < sethsturm@gmail.com > I am not sorry I called your unbelievably bad idea to hold another Rally to Restore Sanity except not starring a star but a retard named you bad. But I did. If you want to combine your effort as a parallel effort to mine GREAT but otherwise gimme a fuckin' break. You want another PARTY. An organization. Group of people run by you  BAD. WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME.

CHECK THIS OUT! (that's "Double X" Jimmy Foxx) He isn't even worthy of being called a "keyboard warrior" because he is hiding behind anonymity. At least The Chump signs his electronic insults. ***** A jealous boy wants to slow me down, but is too afraid to try any but the most cowardly way.  I assume such a "man" reads this newspaper. He thinks a lobbed insult from the Artic Circle will have an effect. It had an effect. A good one. A reason to write another story. I invited I think this same male to meet me for real... But all he was able to do was send another "weakling's weekly". ***** I have tremendously thick skin. From years of battling dozens of local cocksuckers on message boards. They posted anonymously and called me every insult in the book.  I replied under my name, inviting further sniping. Unendingly. I would slug it out with trolls 10× more vile and aggressive. So wh...

My inner thoughts are often on stage. Even when I am not. ***** An EEG shows that our brains produce electrical signals . Waves. Like a radio transmitter. You know how you often know when a man is staring at you without seeing him? That's our literal sixth sense. You are picking up "stalker vibrations" -- the person-staring-at-you's brain waves.  Waves which communicate danger. A man staring at you usually has one thing in mind. It's a hunter's mentality. He emits those frequencies and you receive them because his attention is focused on you, and they are real signals. An EEG plugged into a horny boys' head while his eyes follow you would show the same. You pick up what he's putting out.  Women are more sensitive to this energy for evolutionary safety. ***** I not only emit these signals like everyone else, but I receive the "returns". When I send electrical energy it is more powerful and more directed than other mens...

I really, wanna go do something. I wanna go out. I wanna go to a party!!!! A small house one. Or a lightly crowded bar that's not a sausage fest. Or a sorority party with beer pong. From my 2nd floor window here on 38th and the Americana Inn, I see, dozens, of dates I want to go on. The difference in how I flirt when I'm in an interpersonally friendly environment vs "the public" is amazing. When I know most of the people at the party I am a lighthearted lunatic. When it's randoms I am a super-introvert. So if I go to a bar tonight, an activity I despise, I will hate it. But I am not going to meet someone sitting in this room. Not in the way I mean. So I am fighting with myself what to do. I am all dressed to go out. I am bored to exhaustion. But the minute, I walk into, any bar, I will do the same thing which never works.  Get drinks. Sit by myself. Wait to get hit on. If I was a woman as hot as I am it would take three seconds to get laid. But girls are still not...

Gruene Hall. Texas. ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Wed, Aug 13, 2025, 8:51 PM Subject: Do Not Fail in Showing This to Ms. Williams To: < booking@lucindasnyc.com >, rsvp@lucindasnyc.com < rsvp@lucindasnyc.com > Dear Lucinda, I was almost a patron the other night but I hate being inside when it's nice out.  May I say with no offense intended that I was disappointed with the Yankee atmosphere? I was hoping for Gruene Hall meets Coyote Ugly .  Pancho's Happy Bottom Riding Club. Ring a belle, Louisiana woman? This West Virginia boy is suggesting you wild the place up.  If you have trouble with the neighbors call your Congressman. This one. --Wolf Alexander (i) NY10 2026 P.S. The best part was the half lit sign. That I like. -Alex P.P.S. In all seriousness you want a gimmick no one else has? Beer pong. Every partier who is in college or went loves it. No bar has it. Whole city...

I keep thinking very pathetic or underage men are very hot tomboys. And since I am so eager to meet a tomboy, or any woman of spitfire character, whenever anyone hovers near me I am often unsure of which of those two options is waiting for me to talk to them. The worst feeling is giving my full undivided excited attention to.. yet another boy! bothering me about IDGAF..

I was listening to a lovely songstress right before some cocksuckers started yelling at each other. I have "1st Base" at The Park. That's the northwest corner of grass right by The Arch. Under a tree's shade next to a pole. I stopped playing to listen to her. If you start performing I won't yield to a man but I'll yield to you. There is an asterisk below on that. Before both the spot on Sarah McLachlan? Melissa Ethreridge? impersonator. I knew the song and she was spooky good... Before she sang and maybe she's going to again now... there was a Jesus loving lady on the mic. For a minute. Then there was a person of uncertain hospital origin. I will not give up the stage to a man. I wasn't sure. I heard the word "lesbian" so for a second I was relieved she was a tomboy. But I kept listening and I just wasn't sure. I hedged on the careful. My worst fear is thinking a woman is a man. The way I mean it. Because I treat men l...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Tue, Aug 12, 2025, 8:10 AM Subject: You're a Texas Woman! To: < greg.abbott@gov.texas.gov >, < invite@gov.texas.gov >, < AbbottPressOffice@gov.texas.gov >, < publicrecords@gov.texas.gov >, < budgetandpolicyreports@gov.texas.gov >, < nan.tolson@gov.texas.gov >, < Robert.Black@gov.texas.gov >, < GCPD@gov.texas.gov >, < Wes.hambrick@gov.texas.gov >, < stacy.knause@gov.texas.gov >, < randi.turner@gov.texas.gov >, < egrants@gov.texas.gov >, < 6thpctcommunitycouncil@gmail.com >, < RegulatoryCompliance@gov.texas.gov >, < txcrimestoppers@gov.texas.gov >, < media@dir.texas.gov >, < maggie.freeman@gov.texas.gov >, < gavin.newsom@gov.ca.gov >, < ann.oleary@gov.ca.gov >, < governor@governor.ca.gov >, < nichole.murillo@gov.ca.gov >,...

What do I have to do to get the Timothee Chalamet treatment every time I walk into The Park? I am not normally obscenely arrogant but I deserve it.  Any girl who "leaps from the lions head" for me will be a bit stunned it was so easy to hit the jackpot. When you women of Washington Square know the "wildest dreams" man I am I won't be bored at 12:18. And you won't be unhappy about it then or later. I don't mean that any way except gallantly.

There are men who frequent The Park who "conduct" birds. They feed them and have a large flock around them like the wonderful warm woman from Home Alone 2.  About two months ago I got tired of one of then blocking the entire path with his orchestra of pigeons. So I "flew" into his flock over and over, scattering them before warning him that the next time he would swallow a few of his friends. I haven't seen him since. Yesterday as I circled Garibaldi Plaza, I saw another idiot who enjoys playing with flying rats. He was talking to them. He had about five sayings like one of those toys that says "try me". "Take a lap!" he'd say as he would wave and scatter them. "Come back!" he'd say before throwing more birdkibble. There were a few more but it was a very basic act. "Basic Crazy". He didn't put much creativity into his program. Because he didn't have to. He looked liked a drugged out biker and ...

I naturally say "girl" when I mean an adult woman. I am trying to make myself say "woman". But the word has a negative connotation for me. As does "man" to a worse extent. I hate calling myself "a man". It's so adult. And as a kid I hated adults. They were always getting in my way. Now that I am an adult they are still getting in my way. The adult adults. The ones who climb the career ladder running from The Man's bayonet. Thems the ones I still hate. They are "men" and "women" to me. I'd rather be a boy. And I want to be with a woman who would rather be a girl. I am not a man-child. I like South Park and The Imitation Game and your dad's permission to court you? Yeah right. Yours. May I have it? Tell me. I am "The Youngest Adult".

That didn't start out as a pun. But I have a " bad mind " so if I can I do. I am at The Park and it's a lovely evening. I came without my pack which ridiculously seems frightening. I have a lot of tools I enjoy playing with. I also have no big sign. Just my tshirt. Wow this bench is hot. It just got into shadow. That's fine. I "flew" as slowly as I could to get here. So I am still party ready. If you want to invite me to a party I would love that. The crazier the better minus hospitals and jails and the fire department.  Other than that I'm up for it. I am not a huge drinker but I won't say no to another game of beer pong as long as I can feel my stomach. ***** A "hotdog vendor" just offered mixed drinks. If he comes back I'll buy one. Some "class" Irish tourists ("class" means cool in Irish slang) I think were saying how awesome The Park is. "You can lay in the grass and smoke a joint..." w...

The rich hate me because you think I'm poor. The poor hate me because you think I'm rich. The middle class hate me because I think you're lame. The super-rich hate me because I will take their money. The super-poor hate me because you're annoying. Men hate me because I emasculate them. Women hate me because you're asleep. Democrats hate me because you're pathetic. Republicans hate me because I hate them. Independents hate me because I'm more independent. Yankees hate me because I'm a rebel. Rebels hate me because I won't kiss their ass. New Yorkers hate me because I am taking over your city. West Virginians hate me because I torched their state. Gen Z hates me because you act old. Millennials hate me because you are old. Cops hate me because I don't respect them. Criminals hate me because I hate them. Parents hate me because I hate parents. Children hate me because they're in my way. Teachers hate me because I never li...

Hey. You reading. Tell a friend to read. My numbers aren't going up and I blame you.  You don't want me to blame you. I can find out who "you" are. I still have many friends at The National Security Agency. ***** Because "you" don't think I'm going to win. You think I can't win. THAT PISSES ME OFF. FIX IT OR FUCK OFF.  You think I am doing this for fun, jackass? YOU GODDAMN PATHETIC PEOPLE CAN'T STOP DONALD TRUMP AT ALL. FROM DOING ANYTHING. HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU. I am growling at you. GIVE ME THIS GODDAMN JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. and if any of you have any hot girlfriends TELL THEM TOO. FIRST. Do that, and your city shall thrive. Do it not, and I hope every one of you dies today.

Yesterday was my fourth day battling with weapons at NYC Fight Club . ( video from the third day ) If you are a woman and you wanna get some frustration out against men in a safe way I would suggest joining. You can shadow spar at boxing or martial arts and you can pick up a foam sword or knives and see how you'd fair in a duel. For the first time I did some shadow sparring while waiting for Martin the club president and dueling partner to arrive. He brought two foam knives that I asked for so I could try " double sai " against his single sword. Because I am unable so far to beat him sword vs sword. Although the last time I figured out a possibly winning technique and he quickly told me it was "against the rules" - holding and swinging the sword like a baseball bat.  Since it's his club I kept having to bend to his bullshit to not offend him. That time is now over. ***** I couldn't beat him two knives to one sword although... I never really try a...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Tue, Aug 5, 2025, 2:52 PM Subject: Dear Mr. Billionaire Beast Cocksucker To: < BeastGamesDiligence@gmail.com >, < support@bethebeast.com >, tripletcasting@yahoo.com < tripletcasting@yahoo.com > You are a billionaire? If not for real I do apologize for the subject and some of what you're about to read. If you are not Mr. Beast and show me you forwarded this to him, you get a Capitol Tour with all the trimmings in 2027. ***** ALL WOMENS' RIGHTS! ***** If you are not a billionaire don't waste your time trying to get there. I assume you wanna without angering your fans and bad news, I am not a fan. The NOUN billionaire is GOING BYE BYE. ***** ALL WOMENS' RIGHTS! ***** I heard how you're getting heavy into philanthropy. Good. Keep doing it so you don't go over $999,999,999.99 Otherwise my Congress is taking it. If you own more t...

Or you? ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < thespitfirehunter@gmail.com > Date: Tue, Aug 5, 2025, 10:40 AM Subject: To an American "Mafia button man" To: Seth Sturm < sethsturm@gmail.com >, Stephen Robert Morse < stephenrmorse@gmail.com >, Michael Israel < israel.michael@gmail.com >, Kim Cockrell < WordAssociate@gmail.com > Cc: Susan Wolf < RosieMillerMail@gmail.com >, Jose Ballena < jose.ehouse@gmail.com > One specifically. Who isn't on the receivers list and there's only one other receiving and is smarter than all of y'others combined.  Remember those puzzles where you get some of the information and have to figure out the rest? LSAT analytical reasoning questions. To you who I am writing, anonymously, You can figure out who is who on my campaign team using the following clues: (use Google to check and expand) ***** One person is street smart but not book smart. One person is book s...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < congressmanalexander@gmail.com > Date: Mon, Aug 4, 2025, 8:08 AM Subject: Billionaire's Money Goes Kaboom To: < press@caruso.com >, < dnesheiwat@caruso.com >, < info@caruso.com >, < BRoss@caruso.com >, < cconrad@caruso.com >, < rcaruso@caruso.com >, < lcverdery@caruso.com >, orders@carusocaruso.com < orders@carusocaruso.com >, < caruso@nikecomm.com >, < vip@caruso.com >, < myvalentine@caruso.com > Cc: Seth Sturm < sethsturm@gmail.com >, Stephen Robert Morse < stephenrmorse@gmail.com >, Michael Israel < israel.michael@gmail.com > Howdy Rick Caruso, How're you? (MAKE SURE HE GETS THIS) I read you are considering throwing your crown into the ring for California Governor. As an American you have every right. As a Super-Rich asshole you don't. ***** I know once you reach that rarefied air you think you ar...

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Wolf Alexander < jweinstein3438@gmail.com > Date: Sun, Aug 3, 2025, 3:14 PM Subject: ELON MAY FIRE YOU if you don't send this to him To: < onlineorders@tesla.com >, < OrderSupport@tesla.com >, < ir@tesla.com >, < PowerShareSupportNA@tesla.com >, < cdumit@tesla.com >, < erwilliams@tesla.com >, < changeofownershipna@tesla.com >, < prothenberg@tesla.com >, < yhuh@tesla.com >, < customersupport@tesla.com >, < info@neuralink.com >, < compliance@tesla.com >, < customercare@tesla.com >, < Press@tesla.com >, < Energycustomersupport@tesla.com >, < PaymentResolution@tesla.com >, < accommodationrequest@tesla.com >, < privacy@tesla.com >, < hello@custom-tesla.com >, < FinanceAgreementUK@tesla.com >, < resolutions@tesla.com >, < boston_ordersupport@tesla.com >, < orlando_servi...