Congressional Declaration of War Against Mexico
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From: Wolf Alexander <thespitfirehunter@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 7, 2024, 1:00 PM
Subject: Congressional Declaration of War Against Mexico
To: <mexico.oea@sre.gob.mx>, <mexembusa@sre.gob.mx>, <jrflores@sre.gob.mx>, <mlugo@sre.gob.mx>, <eposadas@sre.gob.mx>, <assistanteua@sre.gob.mx>, <afajer@sre.gob.mx>, <ariveros@sre.gob.mx>, <ggavino@sre.gob.mx>, <hmartinez@sre.gob.mx>, <kdiazb@sre.gob.mx>, <esuzan@sre.gob.mx>, <cquiroz@sre.gob.mx>, <eargandar@sre.gob.mx>, <rsaavedra@sre.gob.mx>, <ammartinez@sre.gob.mx>, <ibaltazar@sre.gob.mx>, <iiruegas@sre.gob.mx>, <aarriazola@sre.gob.mx>, <fanza@sre.gob.mx>, <imoraleser@sre.gob.mx>, <lsalazar@sre.gob.mx>, <pbarquet@sre.gob.mx>, <oarroyo@sre.gob.mx>, <jjlopezp@sre.gob.mx>, <mrodriguezd@sre.gob.mx>, <mzozaya@sre.gob.mx>, <saguirreg@sre.gob.mx>, <ctorresc@sre.gob.mx>, <rgarciag@sre.gob.mx>, <jjacome@sre.gob.mx>, <jotero@sre.gob.mx>, <jcerrillo@sre.gob.mx>, <sarias@sre.gob.mx>, <adurandehuerta@sre.gob.mx>, <marco.morales@cultura.gob.mx>, <ayuda@reforma.com>, <desplegadosreforma@reforma.com>, <suscripciones@proceso.com.mx>, <anuncios@proceso.com.mx>, <mauriciod@siempre.mx>, <suscripciones@siempre.mx>, <contact@siempre.mx>, <contacto@eluniversal.com.mx>, <denuncia@eluniversal.com.mx>, <publicidad@eluniversal.com.mx>, <subscriptions@eluniversal.com.mx>, <tuopinion@elsoldemexico.com.mx.com.mx>, <cotizaciones@oem.com.mx>, <chuerta@oem.com.mx>, <redaccion@eleconomista.mx>, <subscribe@eleconomista.mx>, <recursos.humanos@eleconomista.mx>, <idfintlspox@gmail.com>, <zoharazali@gmail.com>, <mariae@pmo.gov.il>, <ronp@press.pmo.gov.il>, <lior.haiat@mfa.gov.il>, <mayanlazarrovich@gmail.com>, <kerenh@pmo.gov.il>, <media@pmo.gov.il>, <doverut@knesset.gov.il>, <naor@president.gov.il>, <tikshur5@012.net.il>, <eylon@president.il>, <info@atlanta.mfa.gov.il>, <pniot@mod.gov.il>, <consular.services@newyork.mfa.gov.il>, <mankal@president.gov.il>, <haninot@president.gov.il>, <public@president.gov.il>, <visit@president.gov.il>, <yuvala@president.gov.il>, <Israelisociety@president.gov.il>, <voicep@president.gov.il>, <Emailnitzanc@press.pmo.gov.il>, <info-eu@brussels.mfa.gov.il>, <fmfpm@mod.gov.il>, <aatias@knesset.gov.il>, <editor@cavalierdaily.com>, <me@cavalierdaily.com>, <ee@cavalierdaily.com>, <om@cavalierdaily.com>, <cfo@cavalierdaily.com>, <ame@cavalierdaily.com>, <w.hutchens@cavalierdaily.com>, <aom@cavalierdaily.com>, <news@cavalierdaily.com>, <sports@cavalierdaily.com>, <life@cavalierdaily.com>, <a.donmoyer@cavalierdaily.com>, <podcast@cavalierdaily.com>, <opinion@cavalierdaily.com>, <eb@cavalierdaily.com>, <l.fraihat@cavalierdaily.com>, <humor@cavalierdaily.com>, <cartoon@cavalierdaily.com>, <design@cavalierdaily.com>, <photo@cavalierdaily.com>, <sm@cavalierdaily.com>, <analytics@cavalierdaily.com>, <translation@cavalierdaily.com>, <ads@cavalierdaily.com>, <newsletters@cavalierdaily.com>, <archivist@cavalierdaily.com>
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From: Wolf Alexander <thespitfirehunter@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 7, 2024, 1:00 PM
Subject: Congressional Declaration of War Against Mexico
To: <mexico.oea@sre.gob.mx>, <mexembusa@sre.gob.mx>, <jrflores@sre.gob.mx>, <mlugo@sre.gob.mx>, <eposadas@sre.gob.mx>, <assistanteua@sre.gob.mx>, <afajer@sre.gob.mx>, <ariveros@sre.gob.mx>, <ggavino@sre.gob.mx>, <hmartinez@sre.gob.mx>, <kdiazb@sre.gob.mx>, <esuzan@sre.gob.mx>, <cquiroz@sre.gob.mx>, <eargandar@sre.gob.mx>, <rsaavedra@sre.gob.mx>, <ammartinez@sre.gob.mx>, <ibaltazar@sre.gob.mx>, <iiruegas@sre.gob.mx>, <aarriazola@sre.gob.mx>, <fanza@sre.gob.mx>, <imoraleser@sre.gob.mx>, <lsalazar@sre.gob.mx>, <pbarquet@sre.gob.mx>, <oarroyo@sre.gob.mx>, <jjlopezp@sre.gob.mx>, <mrodriguezd@sre.gob.mx>, <mzozaya@sre.gob.mx>, <saguirreg@sre.gob.mx>, <ctorresc@sre.gob.mx>, <rgarciag@sre.gob.mx>, <jjacome@sre.gob.mx>, <jotero@sre.gob.mx>, <jcerrillo@sre.gob.mx>, <sarias@sre.gob.mx>, <adurandehuerta@sre.gob.mx>, <marco.morales@cultura.gob.mx>, <ayuda@reforma.com>, <desplegadosreforma@reforma.com>, <suscripciones@proceso.com.mx>, <anuncios@proceso.com.mx>, <mauriciod@siempre.mx>, <suscripciones@siempre.mx>, <contact@siempre.mx>, <contacto@eluniversal.com.mx>, <denuncia@eluniversal.com.mx>, <publicidad@eluniversal.com.mx>, <subscriptions@eluniversal.com.mx>, <tuopinion@elsoldemexico.com.mx.com.mx>, <cotizaciones@oem.com.mx>, <chuerta@oem.com.mx>, <redaccion@eleconomista.mx>, <subscribe@eleconomista.mx>, <recursos.humanos@eleconomista.mx>, <idfintlspox@gmail.com>, <zoharazali@gmail.com>, <mariae@pmo.gov.il>, <ronp@press.pmo.gov.il>, <lior.haiat@mfa.gov.il>, <mayanlazarrovich@gmail.com>, <kerenh@pmo.gov.il>, <media@pmo.gov.il>, <doverut@knesset.gov.il>, <naor@president.gov.il>, <tikshur5@012.net.il>, <eylon@president.il>, <info@atlanta.mfa.gov.il>, <pniot@mod.gov.il>, <consular.services@newyork.mfa.gov.il>, <mankal@president.gov.il>, <haninot@president.gov.il>, <public@president.gov.il>, <visit@president.gov.il>, <yuvala@president.gov.il>, <Israelisociety@president.gov.il>, <voicep@president.gov.il>, <Emailnitzanc@press.pmo.gov.il>, <info-eu@brussels.mfa.gov.il>, <fmfpm@mod.gov.il>, <aatias@knesset.gov.il>, <editor@cavalierdaily.com>, <me@cavalierdaily.com>, <ee@cavalierdaily.com>, <om@cavalierdaily.com>, <cfo@cavalierdaily.com>, <ame@cavalierdaily.com>, <w.hutchens@cavalierdaily.com>, <aom@cavalierdaily.com>, <news@cavalierdaily.com>, <sports@cavalierdaily.com>, <life@cavalierdaily.com>, <a.donmoyer@cavalierdaily.com>, <podcast@cavalierdaily.com>, <opinion@cavalierdaily.com>, <eb@cavalierdaily.com>, <l.fraihat@cavalierdaily.com>, <humor@cavalierdaily.com>, <cartoon@cavalierdaily.com>, <design@cavalierdaily.com>, <photo@cavalierdaily.com>, <sm@cavalierdaily.com>, <analytics@cavalierdaily.com>, <translation@cavalierdaily.com>, <ads@cavalierdaily.com>, <newsletters@cavalierdaily.com>, <archivist@cavalierdaily.com>
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EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE FOR UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT ZELENSKYY FOLLOWS
*****
Mexico,
We are sorry for deliberately ruining your country for 200 years.
However if you don't do something about your southern border we will have to.
Comprehende amigo?
Pardone mi Espanol es mal. How was that? No Google.
In English:
You, to retaliate against us for ruining deliberately your country for 200 years, are deliberately trying to ruin ours.
Good idea. Really I don't blame you. You are letting every immigrant across and laughing as they go north.
It's not funny.
I am emailing you because "there is a new sheriff in town."
Congressionalissimo Wolf Alexander.
I give you my gringo word that we will fix your country since we fucked it up. Without continuing to demand your subservience.
All you have to do is make sure not one more person who's not supposed to comes across your southern line.
For that service the United States will pay you one trillion dollars with a T. $1,000,000,000,000.
Do we have a deal?
For $1,000,000,000,000 and other gifts and prizes you will never, again allow a single immigrant to cross into your country.
Nada.
Can you do that? Carte blanche. We give you carte blanche. Ask your cartels to do it I don't care.
Whatever you have to do.
Do you speak Italian? Capisce.
If you do not do that and take the pinata of Americano dinero I will fill for you, we will do it ourselves.
Let me be Obama-clear.
The last country we ever invade will be yours. Like we did at Inchon. And Vera Cruz. Way down south. America will arrive.
The Navy.
And a lot of Marines.
All of them.
We will take that entire region. Your states of Chiapas, Tabasco, Campeche, Yucatan and Quintana Roo will become United States territory. Like Guantanamo Bay. Exactly as the Panama Canal Zone was.
Then we will give it to Israel and tell them! to fix the border.
Israel you can move your whole country over if you want. You'll get more room and water.
The USA is also responsible for ruining Central America. At the moment we can't fix it. You fix it Mexico. After we fix you.
Fix as in repair, to first world status, which you never and they never had.
My Congress will Marshall Plan all of that.
But before we give you the carrot you use the stick.
Turn your southern border turned into the Berlin Wall.
Now!
If you don't do it,
I will!
*****
Your Disobedient Congressman,
--Wolf Alexander
P.S. Ireland what do you think?
This foreign policy paper can ne reread at SpitfireHunter.com.
This Congressionalissimo can be visited by your foreign ministers in Charlottesville, Virginia by calling 304-871-4759.
*****
VOLODYMYR
Way to tell Donald Trump where to go fuck himself! I hope your translator has a sense of humor.
You should hurry up and win. I can't send you any money or weapons when I'm Speaker.
I am combining your show and campaign into one thing. A circus race. Da?
Sign a security agreement with Israel. Two countries perpetually attacked and nearby should work together.
We are neither. That's why I have to let you go.
I'm telling you. Annoy Putin. He will make rash mistakes.
MAKE FUN OF HIM!
-ALEX
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