Ireland Our Only Ally!

To the entire! government!! of Ireland!!! and a lot of Cuba's, plus the biggest newspaper in Ireland and the NUIG Student Independent News.

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Wolf Alexander <thespitfirehunter@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Oct 1, 2024, 10:55 PM
Subject: Ireland Our Only Ally
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I am a future US Congressman writing about our foreign policy shift in your favor.

What a class country you've got, The Irish Republic! You list! your "Secretary of State's" email address. You list every minister's! email address.

Bravo and Sláinte! You notice I said "The Irish Republic?" I am a fan of your heroic independence and a student of The Big Fella. 

I don't mean Babe Ruth.

Anyway. After I win the House election to Speaker, America is gonna let everyone else have their fun, internationally.

Yes I know that's our President's prerogative normally but I will be in charge from The Hill with my 100 million followers.

Starting in 2028 only the northern half of the Monroe Doctrine will be lightly enforced. I will even stop us abusing Cuba.

Hola Cuba!

The USA is stepping back from world policeman and half-assed imperialist.

However we will want to remain your, Eire's, best friend. 

Not Great Britain's. Yours. 

The UK and France and Germany and Italy and Iceland and Portugal and Poland and friends can sink or swim and we shall wish them all the luck. 

We are leaving NATO. Except! for our security agreement with you. We will defend you better than we will stop defending Israel. As you are the only last line of defense we need before the Atlantic.

Alaska and Hawaii in the Pacific.

Geopolitically do you see the advantage? 

No more American soldiers overseas doing no earthly good. Wasting our money and pissing half the globe off.

Not our Air Force either. They will fly only under red white and blue skies.

Most importantly no! more proxy wars! 10,000 miles away, with Iran, Russia and coming soon! China.

...

Galway was awesome. I was at NUIG for a semester.

...

Do remember:

Our Navy will be out there. Under the sea. With enough firepower to remove everyone if necessary. 

So the planet will be fine.

Is that cool with you, Ireland? You were neutral in WWII. So you understand. Not everything is your problem. Ours either.

From the sovereign state of Virginia!

--Congressman Wolf Alexander '26

P.S. If I may suggest a solution to your "Northern Ireland" problem.

Scotland wants to secede from the UK. How about the three of you form The Celtic Republic? Scotland and a United Ireland. The Protestants of Ulster will go for that.

Just a thought.